[fera] thforgottencompanion .

for you ;)

2011-06-07T13:23:00.003+08:00

I dreamt about you last night .

hell yeah . I woke up for my sahur and I was in tears . I swear I never, ever cried for something like this before . It's about you .... and I .

you had left without a single word . I know you never know how much I care about you . I asked you and you keep denying . But hey , I know you since I was in primary 2 and I know you were lying to me . Though , I never be ready to let you go .

Dream . How I wish this time it's for real . I know you're doing well in somewhere out there , your world is not here . Please , do well out there , achieve your ambition . Never back out like what you just did , anytime in the future . You have chosen your own way . We are worlds apart once again .

Knowing that you're taking the same course with me makes me smile like the world is mine . I never expect that we met once again . As my tears fell down in the mist of the dawn , our memories were flashed back clearly in my mind . How we laughed together , doing work together , being scolded for something silly and even the biggest issue of the year (hiperbola) , we did fight , like anyone else did . And in fact , that fight had driven us further apart . gosh , I miss my primary years .... with him .

Yeah , I had that kind of feelings to you before , which I never felt to others before , and maybe even after this . we know better than anyone else do . yeah , we still a kid those days but for everything , I am very thankful . well , frankly the feelings getting faded day per day and I do realize that we're not meant to be as one . so I let it go , I'm moving on .

despite , I wish you never appear again . because I never want that sparks again . the superb three weeks I went through with your presence , were the weeks that I wanna treasure forever because I doubted that we're going to meet again after this , unless God has decides for it .

I hope to become your friend , just friends . inside my tiniest heart , there'll always a soft spot for you and all the memories left . As long as I live , the memories alive . No one can change that . I repeat , no one .

for you , please , take a good care of yourself . I won't be there even if I really wish I am . do well . God's willing , we'll see each other again one fine day .

Oh God , tears fell down , again .

P/S : to readers , think what you please to . I write what I feel right . annyeong .

aku tak menyesal .

2011-05-25T13:46:00.003+08:00

hey all . how are yaa ? I hope everyone is still with a sweet smile lingering by your lips . like me :-p

I'm fine , here . despite of all the stress I'm facing during stuDYING but I guess , it's still bearable . I got new mates here and they're superbly happening . thanks to ya'll .

malas feraa mau cerita panjang-panjang. pendek kata, kehidupan di U superb. yaa , superb. cuma pesan fera, pandai-pandailah bawa diri yaa . bnyak godaan, sumpah bnyak godaan ! solat? aha ! urusan masing2x sama Tuhan saja tuh. tiada siapa mau tegur sudaa. zaman sekolah seja tuh orang tegur2x. parents jauh, kawan tak kisah pun. lantak pi laa. haha. ohh and and, uhm. okay fine. feraa cam mau buka tudung seja ya dat day. haizz . setan btul. hahaa.

ehh. bnyak lagi mau cerita. tunggu la next time. si kawan ajak study sudaa. hahaha. kejap bahh, pyeka !

untuk kau . orang suruh dengar , bukan didengar jugakk . apalah .

Menunggu sesuatu yang sangat menyebalkan bagiku
Saat ku harus bersabar dan trus bersabar
Menantikan kehadiran dirimu
Entah sampai kapan aku harus menunggu
Sesuatu yang sangat sulit tuk ku jalani
Hidup dalam kesendirian sepi tanpamu
Kadang ku berfikir cari penggantimu
Saat kau jauh disana

Walau raga kita terpisah jauh
Namun hati kita selalu dekat
Bila kau riduku pejamkan matamu
dan rasakan a a a aku

Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh
terhapus ruang dan waktu
Percayakan kesetiaan ini
berkat ketulusan a a ai aishiteru

Gelisah sesaat saja tiada kabarmu kucuriga
entah penantianku takkan sia-sia
dan berikan satu jawaban pasti
entah sampai kapan aku harus bertahan

saat kau jauh disana rasa cemburu
merasuk kedalam pikiran ku melayang
tak tentu arah tentang dirimu
apakah sama yang kau rasakan

Walau raga kita terpisah jauh
Namun hati kita selalu dekat
Bila kau riduku pejamkan matamu
dan rasakan a a a aku

Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh
terhapus ruang dan waktu
Percayakan kesetiaan ini
berkat ketulusan a a a aishiteru

Saat ku sendiri pikiran melayang terbang
Prasan resah gelisah jalani kenyataan hidup tanpa gairah o u oo
Lupakan segala obsesi dan abmbisimu
Akhiri semuanya cukup sampai disini
dan buktikan pengorbanan cintamu padaku
Kumohon kau kembali

kimiga kumo kumii tenmo
kinoho boy ga shino ga ruta a
Shineteruyo shineteruyooo

Walau raga kita terpisah jauh
Namun hati kita selalu dekat
Bila kau riduku pejamkan matamu
dan rasakan a a a aku

Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh
terhapus ruang dan waktu
Percayakan kesetiaan ini
berkat ketulusan a a a aishiteru

wo wo wo
wo wo wo a a ai aishiteru

ngam kan ? hahaha .

Asasi Sains , UMS

2011-05-15T22:19:00.002+08:00

ASASI SAINS 2011/2012
Universiti Malaysia Sabah .

here I come . lalala~

Such a drastic decision . I turned down my offer to IIUM before just to go for Science Foundation offered by UMS . I was damn shocked when the officer rang me on last Wednesday , right at 5.30pm and she expected a yes from me in just half an hour . okay finee ! I was in the middle of the downtown and guess what ? I just said a yes to them even before I made up my mind .

I was kind of feeling down when I know few of my friends got the offer from UMS and I forgot all about my application to this U after being offered by IIUM . just right after the UMS officer rang me , IIUM was completely not in my mind anymore so I guess, I decided by then that I wanna be here , not IIUM .

My dad wasn't the happiest person in the world while I told him about the offer, the whole thing, and the way i felt bout it. It's a total vice versa with my mum as she really encouraged me to accept the offer. so yeah, I guess, deep inside my heart, I feel that it's the way that He opened for me to achieve the thing that I dreamt before.

My heart sank when I got to know that I have to register the next monday, which is tomorrow . Okay finee again ! I felt that as my holidays taken away all of sudden, out ofthe blue and I'm not sure if I say I'm happy with it . Months before, I bragged too much that I'm so bored of the long holiday after SPM and when the time finlly comes to continue studies, I really hope I can turn back time back then :-p

So , since december 2010 until mid May 2011 I was spending an awesome holiday at home with my besties accompanied me all the time. I became the so called K-POP fanatic fan (uiseyh) and that one thing which I found and will be kept safe inside me <3

All in all , I'm enjoying my holiday and how I wish I can get more but it's just a complete freaky idea . Tomorrow I'll be going for registration and I'm not sure when I can update this blog again. If .. if only there are readers out there , I'm so so so sorry if I can't prepare you an update . till then , bye bye .

Just remember that everything under the sun will one day meets an end. Bear in mind that everything that ends , another begins . Appreciate everything you have while it's still with you. But then, best as human, we never knew the true value of something until we lose them.

at last , I couldn't ask for more :)

2011-05-06T21:25:00.004+08:00

hot topic for today for most of the SPM leavers .

mengalahkan banana fritters :-p

Alhamdulillah . Our praises to ALLAH SWT .
I got an offer for Eonomics and Management Science Foundation , IIUM .
My dad is superbly feeling happy bout this.
And thanks to my mum , at last she can acccept my decision :)

Semua ada hikmahnya .

we just have to open our eyes , hearts and mind :)

2011-05-04T21:56:00.003+08:00

kamu pernahkah, masa kamu ada masalah and cerita dgn org lain, could be your friends, parents, etc etc, then bila dorang x tahu suda mau cakap apa, simply saying "don't worry, ada hikmahnya tuh" . rasanya mesti pernah kan ? kan ? so , berdasarkan pengalaman fera, to those yang masih boleh fikir waras+positif+jernih lagi masa tuh bolehlah rasa relieve eventho masalah makin menimbun. tapi for those yang masa tuh bercelaru betul, 9/10 akan kata, "jemu sudah aku dengar ada hikmah. lagipun, aku yang lalui. kau senanglah cakap....." and bla bla bla lagilah. orang mau bagi tenang, makin pulak dia membebel. hahaha. however, I guess, normal lah tuh.

tapi tahukah anda atau yakinkah anda, bahawa sesungguhnya hikmah tuh memang ada pun. bagi sesiapa yg percaya, memang tahulah kan. and amazingly, hikmah tuh sebenarnya senang seja pun di trace. buka minda. jangan sempitkan. lihat dgn mata hati, bukan tambah makan hati. dan sesungguhnnya, mereka yang buat self-reflection seja yang akan nampak hikmah kurniaan-Nya nie.

kenapa jugak fera cakap-cakap pasal nie ? kenapa ? hahax . sebab this is part of my self-reflection lah kiranya nie. perkara berbangkit ialah ; kebanyakan studies application fera ndak telampau cerah masa depan . hahahahax ( ketawa x ikhlas) . nanti kejap fera explain. kejap ya. sambung dulu membebel. hehe. tapi kan, bila fera fikir balik. bagus jugak fera ndak dapat apa yang fera mau tuh. i mean, fera cakap nie sekadar apa yang fera boleh fikirlah. yang beyond my sight and knowledge tuh, Wallahualam jak lah ya.

sekadar yang fera ingat, fera pernah hampa sebab yang berikut ;

masa form 1, cita-cita mau pegi SMSLD, ikut jejak abang kunun. tapi apakan daya, k.o sikit sains masa UPSR a.k.a nda dapat A. maka, secara automatiknya permohonan rejected. sedih.
oh. x mau terima fera masa form 1 ya, nda apa. tunggu. meningkat masa akhir form 3, semangat apply lagi SM Sains. tapi still jugak nda dapat. even hantar rayuan pun, nda kena peduli mcm tuh rayuan. punya sandik perasaan :(
masa form 4, di MRSM. hahax. nda dapat itu jawatan BWP. bikin malu betul. wakaka.
jump pegi form 5, nda dapat apply SPC, biasiswa MARA Pra SPM untuk bidang perubatan. yang layak pun untuk bidang perakaunan. gasak jak lah, cuba nasib. tapi itupun nda dapat jugak. sudahlah bgitu, kena kick-off lagi masa interview utk scholarship itu.
result SPM yang..........................
terkini, main reason for tonight's entry, ndak dapat tawaran Asasi Sains, UMS. err ... sedapkan sikitlah ayat nie, belum terima panggilan tawaran lagi.

and banyak lagi sebenarnya. tapi malas mau tulis lagipun, namanya jugak NDAK DAPAT. mau bising kenapa, kan. hahahax. so, fikir balik, this is what I managed to think and it's such relieving me ;

kalau fera dapat itu tawaran SMSLD, mesti fera akan dispute sama parents. parents memang against my desire to go there as soon as I was only in form 1 that time. masih mau dimanja2x lagi kali. hahahax. lagipun, kalau fera recruited in dorm life awal betul, nda fera rasa bebas jadi budak sekolah harian. hehe. lagipun fera budak bukan studious punya jenis. mau disuap seja, a.k.a budak tuition. hehe.
ya, nda dpt lagi masa form 4 . kalau fera diterima masuk pegi SMSLD , xkan lah fera kenal sama MRSM. fera x jmpa kawan yang best like everyone whom I befriend now, no chance keluar dari Sabah just to represent the college, and banyak lagilah. lagipun , kena di Tawau jak. masih dekat sama family. hahax. ketara manja :-p . and banyak lagilah. in a nutshell (chewah), I won't have the chance to experience every bittersweet moments I had been going through while in MRSM.
x dapat BWP ? hahahax . bersyukur berabis ! kalau fera jadi BWP , rasanya study fera jadi kacau berabis. namanya jugak bukan studious person. any distraction would have made me getting zero in the end. xdapat BWP, fera jd LDP. muehehehehe. uhm . ok fine. bunyik mcm bangga tpi nda pun. biasa seja. a lot more better than me.
I thought at that time by not getting the SPC is the most damn failure I've ever come across in my whole lifetime until no more tears because of like an endless crying. tapi, kalau fera dapat tawaran tuh, belum tentu lagi fera dpt buat dgn baik. short course so semua pun jadi kind of rushing. bagi yang hebat, mungkin perkara biasa jak tuh. and fera xkan ada cuti yang panjang. stress continue after SPM. lagipun, who knows in some point in the future, medic is the one that is meant for me, instead of accounting. right? so yeah, for this particular reason, I'm being grateful even until now :)
result SPM memang agak kacau. nangis depan kawan, cikgu and daddy masa tuh. tapi masa fera balik rumah lepas tuh, fera ambil my certificates file. then terselak pulak slip keputusan setiap semester masa form 4 n 5. I compared them to my SPM result and guess what? I'm crying for the sake of happiness and satisfaction ever ! yalah bah, rasanya ramai jugak yang tau fera mana pernah dapat result sedemikian rupa. hahax.
arh yang ini , belum berani cakap . hahax . yg fera pasti , ada lagi rezeki lebeyh baek masa depan :)

wah wah . towards the end of the post sudah nie. fera pun penat sudah sebenarnya menaip panjang2x padahal belum tentu jugak ada yang baca. hahax. nda apa. yang penting fera puas hati. ok guys, hayati nie ;

boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah yang mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya.

Surah Al-Baqarah , ayat 216.

Bak kata Niza Soraya, sudah terang lagi berspotlight, Allah itu Maha Mengetahui segala kejadian di langit dan di bumi. Yakinlah dengan ketetapan-Nya. Yakinlah pada hikmah-Nya. beyond what we know, He knows and He is the best. selagi seseorang itu berpegang teguh pada kata-kata hikmah ini atau yang sewaktu dengannya, nescaya kekecewaan itu xkan berpanjangan.

Tamat . at last . thanks for reading .

bukan rezeki .

2011-05-02T23:28:00.002+08:00

maka , zaman fera berseragam sekolah dengan rasminya , TAMAT .

Evanescence said ;

2011-05-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

call me when you're sober .

you ignore me once again .

2011-05-01T22:33:00.001+08:00

why is it being so hard for you to let it go .
I'm trying to make it up with you
but a killing ignorance is all you give me in return .
Thank You .

listen .

2011-05-01T22:26:00.001+08:00

Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan .

2011-05-01T19:08:00.003+08:00

fera dapat tawaran matriks .

dimana ? di sini :)

terima atau tolak tawaran ? fera tekan saja terima tawaran . hehe .

as the matter of fact , I'm pretty not sure whether I'll be going to Labuan for this offer or not because I'm still waiting for another offer such as UPU or Science Foudation , UMS . I hope I get more choices to be considered . readers , pray for me , fingers crossed for UPU or UMS offer. Thank you :)

kau tanya aku jawab .

2011-05-01T02:38:00.002+08:00

setiap WH question yang kau tanyakan dan disertakan dengan [?] ,
hanya satu jawapan aku ;

fera sayang kamu .
but you still have the doubts . sadly .

aku faham . semuanya mesti ada masam masam manis .
itulah kehidupan .

again and again .

2011-05-01T02:23:00.002+08:00

I'm back .
even if I don't have any idea if this will last long .

I won't tell the whole world that I've return .
I need to know whether the world still care for my presence .
I'm begging you for a little corncernity .

I won't stay back .
I hid for too long .
It's the time . time to show up to the world .
though nobody really cares .

i should've been thinking about it :)

2011-03-21T09:32:00.002+08:00

^^nizasoraya , feranoormila , kikylala^^

21st March 2011
Saengilchukka'e , Niza-sshi .....

may Allah SWT bless you in everything you do.
may He grant all your wishes
you know i know what we know
and have a pleasant day , hunn :)

and yeah , when it comes to wishing people , i did it the worst :-p

Now you see , Now you dont ..... !hey guys , finally , I'm here once again . Mianhae .. it's more than a month ago since the last entry posted.
from now on, i hope you guys won't expect much updates from me as I don't intend to post entries as often as before. i will only write when i feel right. this will be more to a place whereby I speak up my mind where i have no one else to tell. otherwise, then no updates will be posted. thank you for reading this. Love you . (=

It's the day after tomorrow. the day that will lead me to another path, another phase of life. I should've been thinking all these things, how important the one piece of slip is before entering the examination hall not too long ago. back then, i did nothing but playfully studying which brings greatest regrets to me now. i guess , i'm not the only one feeling like this. they said, no regrets but being a super duper ordinary person under the bright sun , sure there'll be regrets for anything done wrongly before. if it doesnt, then why the word'regret' is ever existed right ?

my parents put their hopes onto me as i'm the youngest in my small compact family. my brother has achieved what he craves for in his life and i bet there'll be a lot to come. and i'm still determining my way long ahead. parents have been supporting me throughout these years and that's why i never wanted to let them down which is none in this world wanted either. my dad said before , he would be glad to know whatever result i get but who under the sun can avoid of feeling down, right ?

again , I should've been thinking this long way before. =,=

the day after tomorrow. Ya Allah, please, grant me my wish. Straight A's. Fingers crossed (=

so when you lost your way, to Allah you should turn, as He promised He would always be there...

the reason you found me here

2011-02-14T19:10:00.003+08:00

salam . hye all .

I wonder if someone visits here frequently ,

do you really love me or what ?

becuz , its damnly undeniable my blog is so-called tak chantek ,

tak informative , tak factual

and i would say ntah pa2x seja blog nie .

fera memang pemalas gila mau make-up ini blog.

fera xtaw mau post pasal apa.

fera blur kalau pasal mau post something factual or academic.

fera malas mau post pasal gosip artis.

pa yg fera tulis di sini memang itu sejalah yg terlintas di minda.

in fact, I've been blogging since i was in Form 3 and at that time for me blogging is just for trendy purpose . i mean , it's just because of what the wiseman says , "follow the crowd". you can make yourself diligent enough to browse through my all post and its just craps you can find there. cerita budakbudak seja dulu tuh. oh and you can find most of my entries i posted in English. yeahh , in English simply because as i get used to blogging activity, i found that most of my links at that time are from Singapore so all of them i might say are blogging in English. and I realize that i can improve my english through blogging. that become the main reason why am I blogging , even until now.

Until now , i really love to read people's blog and honestly i can say , moreover those who write their blog in English . as i said before, for learning purpose. I love to go through and see the grammar, the vocabs used and any new proverbs to learn. I'm not the type of person who loves reading that much, I'm not attending any tuition either so I've no choice other than to browse any articles in google, blogs and even tumblr to gain more knowledge on how impressive this language is.

oh, don't get me wrong just any yet , people. I'm not saying that my English now is superb but i can frankfully say that it has improved from the last 4 years. My dad thought me to speak at home as he speaks the another language and i can say, Bahasa Melayu is his second language. however, even until now, i'm not even 30% of him when it comes to mastering the language. I envy him, totally ! I really wish I too, was schooling in the school which was ruled by the Englishman. there are a lot of my schoolmates who i really wish i can be at the same level as them in language usage such as Niza Soraya, Afiq Hidayat and Nabila Azureen and of course a few more and not to forget, Rafie Izwan who is really determined to learn and gets better time to time in mastering English Language as well. anyway, all in all I'm still learning to get better in time so yeah , bear with me, readers.

anyway ,

to everyone who read this post, my blog, my says

and to those who really don't miss my entries,

not to forget to my dear followers,

i have nothing else to show my great appreciation to you.

i hope , this one will do , *winkwink*

a big big huggy for ya'll ^^,

calon dah ada . honeymoon pun dah plan . :-p

2011-02-09T09:52:00.004+08:00

Since I am bored with nothing much to do , I'm now posting my favourite place to go for holiday. my friend , Niza Soraya and I have planned to go to South Korea for a vacation before we reach 25 years old . haha . seems not real but hey , who knows , right ? I once planned to go with my room mates as well but i don't know if they still remember that . I bet it's just a craap for them T_T

for now , i only have pictures with me , wishing i can go there and take the pictures of beautiful scenery all by myself .

^^Sinheungsa Temple in Seolak Mountain .

^^Seoul City taken from above .

Oh by the way , there is a place i wish i can go for my honeymoon with my future-yeobo . It's Jeju Island . so , Niza , we go here all by ourselves eh ? haha XD :-p i know this Jeju Island from Boys Over Flower . a big thanks huggy to Gu Jun Pyo . sepa suruh dia p kahwin di sana . haha . craap . ;-)

^^the natural beauty of Jeju Island .

^^Jeju Island is famous with its geologically unique rock wall called 'Jusang Jeoli'

aigoo aigoo . . . Subhanallah . chantek ini pemberian tuhan , kan ?

Jeju Island was once nominated for the finalist of 7 Wonders of the World . so , it's kind of a great achievement for South Korea . I've made a vow to myself that one day i will go to South Korea . I think it's an achievable dream . hehehe .

Got a few of my friends who will be visiting Korea anytime soon . i just can't tell you how envy i am to them . they're lucky they got the opportunity by now . nevermind . sabar dulu yah , fera ?

fera :

mummy , i know it . i know where i wanna go for my honeymoon . Jeju Island , Korea !

mummy :

i hope girl kahwin orang kaya . and hope by that time , Korea belum kena bom . XD

fera :

=,= huuuhh .

what my mummy was telling me is that the fact that South Korea is not really save by now . South Korea always face a crisis with North Korea . as you know , North Korea is now fully equiped with Nuclear so they can harm South Korea by anytime now . the reason , HATRED ! this crisis involved 6 countries altogether . so yeah , put it down North Korea !

i'm off . bye . thanks for reading .

do you still mean everything you have said ?

or are they just like the wind ?

pass by, chilling, and just flew away just like that .

take it back .

you never meant it .

T_T

Malaysian got talent as well :-p

2011-02-09T09:27:00.001+08:00

if I am about to pick one of the malaysian actor to have my interest in , i would go for Pierre Andre *wonder if I spell it right* .

In my view , he's not that handsome . not ugly either of coarse . he really got something that really put him where he is now . nominated as Best Director *if I'm not mistaken* before , so yeah good for him . he just got the talent .

I love his acting in Jangan Pandang Belakang and Selamat Pagi Cinta . maybe because those are the only movies where he acted at before i have ever watched . well , what to do , i seldom watch malay film so , yeah =,=

Pierre Andre , good job =)

calon menantu dah ada :)

2011-02-08T21:59:00.003+08:00

it strikes my mind .

fera :

kan best klw fera dapat kawen org korea *winkwink*

mummy :

girl , itu orang korea have their eyes on you meh ? if girl mcm Kim Tae Hee oke jugak .

fera :

T_T how could you , my . . . ?

well . at least , mummy seemed to know who's Kim Tae Hee . not bad , huh ?

let the pictures do the talking ;-)

2011-02-05T23:11:00.005+08:00

event : Sayonara Pak Leman T_T

event : OLD TOWN Supper . whoaa !~

self reflection . don't read without sincerity .

2011-02-05T01:00:00.003+08:00

baca sekiranya anda mampu mengosongkan minda anda , berfikiran jernih , bersikap neutral .

Couple itu haram . ya , haram .

sudah lama fera mengetahui hakikat ini . sejak awal tingkatan empat . ketika itu fera baru menempati MRSM Tawau . fera akui , susah untuk fera menerimanya secara bulat-bulat . fera tertanya-tanya , kenapa pula ? apa yang haram ?

ala , setakat couple , bkn buat **** pun . setakat mesej-mesej , jumpa pun ndak , pegang tangan , jangan haraplah . apa lagi untuk berbuat benda lebih teruk dari itu. kekadang tuh , saling memberi peringatan antara satu sama lain . salahkah ?

ya , ketika itu , fera mempunyai kekasih atau , lebih gemar digelar , BF . tentu sahaja seribu dalih dihujahkan . ketika usrah pertama , fera lah ukhti yang paling banyak soalan ditujukan kepada Kakak Senior ketika itu , Kak Mashitah . fera belum berpuas hati namun Kak Mashitah sering meyakinkan fera bahawa JOdoh itu di tangan Tuhan , maka mengapa perlu ber-couple ? sejak daripada itu , fera tidak pernah lagi menghubungi si kekasih itu tadi . dia pun berlalu pergi , bersama yang baru , mungkin .

masih segar di ingatan dan InsyaAllah kekal selamanya , alasan yang menjadikan couple itu haram ialah; Allah SWT menyebutkan dalam Al-Quran dalam surah Al-Isra' ayat 32 , Allah berfirman "dan janganlah kamu menghampiri zina, sesunnguhnya zina itu adalah satu perbuatan yang keji dan satu jalan yang jahat (yang membawa kepada kerosakan)". Allah SWT melarang umatNya MENGHAMPIRI , bukan sahaja MELAKUKAN zina . mengapa pula Couple dikatakan menghampiri zina ? ya , kerana , bayangkan saja , anda berada dalam perjalanan dari rumah anda ke sekolah sejauh 50 m . Apabila melangkah sahaja anda daripada rumah anda , mungkin anda sedah melalui 1 m perjalanan , maka baki perjalanan cuma tinggal 49 m . pada saat itulah anda dikatakan , menghampiri sekolah . adaptasikan kepada perkara pokok iaitu antara Couple dan zina serta prosesnya .

tapi , huh , manusia biasa , dasar lemah ! ya , walaupun fera mengetahui larangan itu , sekali lagi fera terjerumus dalam kancah couple ini . tahun lalu , 2010 tanpa dijangka fera cuba menidakkan segala fakta yang dahulunya sudah fera sedia maklum . kononnya , dua insan telah dipertemukan . semuanya palsu , palsu belaka . bukan juga atas dasar kononnya cinta , hanya sekadar suka-suka . OH , God . tempoh sebulan 20 hari itu , cukup untuk fera kesali seumur hidup . ya , seumur hidup . penyesalan itu masih ada , menghantui . mengalir juga air mata ini mengenangkannya . bukan kerana dia pergi , tapi justeru kerana dia pernah hadir . sudah azalinya perhubungan yang tidak direstui Tuhan , mungkin juga kerana tidak kena pada caranya , hubungan itu terputus atas sebab yang tidak perlulah fera coretkan di sini . Malam itu , tahajjud ditunaikan , dan nekad , akhiri segala-galanya . semenjak itu , hati fera beku , beku walaupun pujuk rayu beberapa kali menyusul selepas perpisahan itu . Syukur Alhamdulillah .

semenjak itu jugalah , cinta antara dua insan itu fera tafsirkan hanya layak untuk disandarkan pada mereka yang telah sah , yang telah menjadi halal bagi keduanya . cinta yang kerap diucapkan oleh mereka yang dilamun cinta , fera tidak pasti apakah itu cinta sebenar . bagi fera , cinta antara pasangan kekasih hanya wujud dalam novel Alaf 21 dan drama-drama cinta . fera lupakan segalanya . hanya yang tinggal , cinta kepada Sang Pencipta , cinta kepada Pesuruh-Nya , cinta kepada ibu bapa dan mungkin juga , cinta kepada alam sekitar , :-p semua orang tentu ingin berasa disayangi , dimanja , diberi perhatian , tapi tentu ada caranya yang betul , bukan ?

ya , mungkin juga kepada pembaca yang mengenali diri fera akan merasakan yang entri kali ini sememangnya merapu . bukan kerana fakta ini salah , tapi kerana fera yang menulis entri sebegini . apa hak fera ? fera juga pernah melakukannya , mengapa sibuk nak tunjuk baik sekarang ? suci sangatkah fera sekarang ? fera yakinkah tidak akan terjebak lagi ?

ya , fera manusia biasa . fera juga melakukan kesalahan , mungkin juga sudah , sedang dan akan melakukan kesalahan , itu sudah pasti . tapi jika menunggu mereka yang suci bersih dari dosa baru boleh mengatakan sebegini , maka , bila masanya kita akan jadi baik ? bila masanya amar maaruf nahi mungkar dapat dilakukan ? fera juga muslim , salahkah fera mengatakan sesuatu yang betul ? secara jujurnya , fera juga tidak yakin yang fera tidak akan terjebak lagi tapi selagi mampu fera akan berpegang pada pegangan itu . huh , itu mungkin kata-kata mereka yang lemah imannya , namun siapa dapat mengira kekuatan iman masing-masing ? ingat , syaitan itu sentiasa ada membisikkan kata-kata manis yang berimbuhan neraka . bersederhanalah dalam segenap segi .

mungkin akan ada yang menanyakan tentang , bagaimana sekiranya wujud perasaan kepada seseorang ? persoalan ini juga yang masih bleum fera ketahui jelas jawapannya . ada yang berkata , perasaan itu datang dari Allah SWT maka mengapa perlu dihindarkan ? ada pula yang berkata , semuanya cuma bisikan syaitan , yang membawa kepada zina hati . ah , fera juga bingung . fera masih belajar . takkan mungkin fera dapat menjawabnya . mati kutu , kata mereka . =,= mungkin fera akan jawab , "fera mungkin mempunyai perasaan terhadap seseorang , tapi mestikah fera ber-couple ?"

secara neutralnya , di satu sisi lagi , fera tidak setuju sekiranya segelintir pihak itu hanya menekankan isu couple sahaja dalam apa-apa ceramah atau tarbiah . back to basic , sudahkah dilaksanakan ibadah wajibnya ? solat lima waktu menjadi tunjang utama , perkara yang acapkali diambil mudah dan dibiarkan sahaja berlalu waktunya . ya , fera juga adakalanya meninggalkan solat namun tentu sahaja hati tidak akan tenang . nyata sahaja Tuhan tidak memberkati . fera yakin bahawa sekiranya solat itu dilakukan dengan tertibnya , tentu sahaja secara seiring sahsiahnya juga cenderung menjadi elok .

ketika menaip entri ini , fera penuh dengan rasa debaran . fera takut satu hari nanti pegangan fera goyah dan menjadi semakin teruk . kini fera masih di bawah jagaan keluarga tersayang , mempunyai kawan yang masih sudi memberi peringatan . bagaimana jika sudah berada jauh dari keluarga , semasa berada di Universiti nanti ? fera akan jadi bebas , segalanya terserah kepada fera untuk menentukan mana baik mana buruk . bagaimana jka fera tersilap langkah ? seribu entri sebegini pun tidak akan mengubah apa-apa tanpa disertai iman dan tekad .

bagaimana pula dengan teman istimewa ? ya , ada . fera akui , jujur , fera ada teman istimewa . tapi , seperti yang fera kata, TEMAN . kawan . rakan . sahabat . fera juga tidak tahu sama ada kali ini benar pada jalanNya dan syarak atau tidak . niat tidak selalunya menghalalkan cara . jika ada sesiapa yang dapat memberitahu fera , tolong beritahu . tolong fera .

agak lucu juga entri ini ditulis , dibaca dengan berlatarbelakangkan lagu korea yang terang-terang berkenaan cinta . tolong , sekali lagi , be neutral .

i doubted if there's an reader that will get my whole point , what i'm trying to say . some maybe will even sa i'm hypocrite . do judge me , blame me , if i do wrong . all comments , critics , are all welcomed .

Untuk maklumat lebih lanjut , tepat , mutakhir , klik SINI dan SITU .

P/S : still , my blog , my words . to like or dislike , it's up to you . (-:

I need you now . i need you now .

2011-02-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now

Oh baby, I need you now

seeing that , i know .

interpret whatever you like , as you wish .

try to be in my shoes , and see if you can do all the talking anymore .

a day with half disaster and half hilarious .

2011-01-31T21:42:00.004+08:00

"yaaaayyy !" . i remembered it well . dats how i screamed like apa seja masa bangun pagi tadi . so excited as today is the day i will continue with my Pre-L , a lesson or you can call it a course before i can get L license . i thought it would be easily learnt . aha ! what happened was the upside down . *green*

the appointment was at about 9 am . reached there , waited for the instructor to come . Fera pilih cikgu Saharuddin . hua3x . macam jak kmu kenal . eh tapi , mana taw gak kan . nasib la fera pilik nie cikgu . PENYABAR kick ! hua3x .

Ckgu : biasa drive ?
Me: nope . pernah try sekali seja .
Ckgu : Ok la sudaa ?
Me : K.0 bh ckgu . clutch tuh musuh fera . haha .
Ckgu : *smile*

so this is the car that i used for the practical today . comel seja viva nie rupanya . hehe . comel comel pun kaki fera tetap ndak dapat capai sepenuhnya pedal tuh . tapi tadi trep trep seja . lenguh jugak la kaki sbb bila pedal tekan habis , tumit ndak cecah lantai . LENGUH !

ckgu : cuba skrg fera try lepas clutch pelan pelan . slow seja . sambil tuh , kaki kanan tekan minyak . tekan seja pelan pelan . try .
fera : *mencuba sedaya upaya imbang clutch ngan minyak*
enjin kereta mati . jantung fera macam maw teberhenti sekali . haishh .
ckgu : free gear , start enjin .

the dialogues were repeated for , urm , oh gosh , i lost touch ! viva comel ituh entah berpuluh kali sudaa mati enjin olehku . huhu . mianhae~ praktikal 3 jam , setengah jam habis masa test maw jalan seja . sepa suruh , lagi lagi mati enjin . camana jugak kn . huhu .

short legs . unfortunate . fatigue .

praktikal kena jugak guna kasut . fera ikut cakap :) XD

mata sepet . sakit . sangat silau . lupa bawa spek . huhu .

inilah nie budak yang lambat pikap itu . ahahaha . we have a rest time just now for about 15 minutes . the teacher got something to do in the office . while waiting , that's it , camwhoring myself was the only thing that i did . (:

so the practical was going on for 3 hours . you know , it's kind of a big relieve , i'm not saying that it's kind of from zero to hero , cuz there's still alot more to learn . my other friends who took the KPP Tes together with me seemed very familiar with driving skill . it's just me , the only me . stucked for sometimes at the parking corner . but , i just couldn't give a damn . finally , i managed to drive the car at the circuit for i don't know how many laps . ahahaha . best kick ! signal sana , signal sini . free gear , gear 1 . dah jalan , masuk gear dua . tekan minyak , lepas clutch . tekan brek , trus tekan clutch . ahahaha . berkat kesabaran ckgu , dan tebal mukaku . ahaha .

it's kind of tiring . till now , still rasa lenguh lagi nie . first time . i'm lovin it .

ckgu , terima kasih :)

adiosss .

choki-choki . still remember ?

2011-01-30T21:09:00.007+08:00

choki-choki ! yeap . rindu sangat .

speaking of choki-choki , i always remembered Echa , how she really loved to eat choki-choki . she used to sneak out from class , went to the cafe nearby , bought a bundles of choki-choki and we used to ask from her . hua3x . Echa , i miss you damn much !~

anyway , earlier today i went to LD with my dad and bro . they got work to do so i just hook up just to avoid boredom . nothing much to blog about for today .

It's just that , I'm absolutely happy XD .

Sometimes , life is not easy as can be seen through naked eyes . Something can only be seen through faith . I'm a true believer of that .

let me be with no reason to like you .

~~so that i have no reason to forget you .~~

tired . tired . tired . it's more tiring than have a marathon throughout Africa .

2011-01-29T18:14:00.003+08:00

it's always on me . only me . just me .

"i want my money back , i want my money back . ." just enjoy the show . . .

2011-01-27T23:23:00.003+08:00

I should be sleeping by now , as was asked by someone2x [youknowwhoyouare :)] but still, refuse to sleep. I'm waiting for the movie to be done downloaded . yeap , the above movie , Death Bell : The Bloody Camp . So yeah , i'm happy as i now know how to download movie . well , people says that by downloading actually one is considered a pirate . as for me , yeah whatsoever . if there is an easier way , then why would go for the difficult one right ? okay so this is the first movie i'm downloading and will be added up real soon :)

FAQ , Frequently Asked Question .

I believe most of the bloggers here have Facebok as well, right ? and I believe that some of us have experienced chatting with new people before . So , at first , it's always begin with "busy ke?" or "ganggu ke?" maw seja fera jawab , SANGAT .

List of Chatting FAQ [based on own experience] :-

1 . Nama siapa ?

2 . Asal mana ?

3 . Umur berapa nie ?

4 . Masih study ?

5 . Single ka ?

6 . Boleyh la nie akuh isi borang kan ?

oh and , i'm highligting the FAQ no. 5 and 6 . seriously annoying . why did I say so , because for me , in my view , it reflects what a wrong intention you have to approach someone with that question and oftenly asked by a boy to a girl , usually . fine , if you're really wanna befriend them sincerely , status would never be a matter .

i seldomly starts a chat with people unless i really need or i really wanna talk to . even if there are people who hit me for a chatting , usually won't do on me or if so , i'm just gonna reply with the most simplest word in mind . yeah , i guess i've annoyed people , but what to do ? ehehe .

so , just cut the craap .

kw sangat comel .

comel sangat :)

i don't really need to graduate before i can be a caunselor :-p

2011-01-26T22:23:00.003+08:00

I felt so appreciated whenever people around me starts to share their problems to me especially when it comes to love and their relationship problems . hahaha . i tried to be a good listener and i guess i've been one to certain people . well , what else could i do for them as a friend right ? my love life isn't that perfect , they do aware of that . but still , i can lend my ears at least .

oh , i ain't saying that i'm good anywayy . they do :D

they said time flies . i said time creeps .

2011-01-26T06:26:00.003+08:00

Myspace Countdown Clock
i just woke up and i got hell nothing to do . haha . i am supposed to tidy up my room etc etc but instead i straight away online w/out specific purpose . ngee~ anyway , just a short shot here . above is a countdown widget . lately i've been blog-hopping and i found most of the blogs i read have the countdown ticker regarding their couple anniversary , "we've been as one for . . . ." , "sayang-menyayangi . . ." , "cinta kami . . . " XD . oh btw , got this one blog i was dropping by , i saw the countdown and they've been in a relationship for 6 years and 7 months , since they were in form 1 until they go for their further studies . ahaha . still here , stays forever kah tuh ? ngee~ tahniah la fera ucapkan .
fera pun teringin la jugak countdown2x kan . so letak ja la countdown b'day since i've no annual commitment and anniversary bla3x to remember other than my b'day . ahaha . i just felt funny :D:D
i've got the generated code but suddenly feel , "xyah la letak , kin semak" . aahaha . tapi since sudaa dibuat , so fera just copy ke entry seja la . ahaha .
promote bday , boleyy ? xD 20081993 [remember !] , when the sun just about to rise , the morning glory was about to bloom , right i was born . thanks mum , you hold on for 9 months and 10 days [approximately !] until the day i was born . i know u've suffered alot , even until now , having a stubborn and suka-ikut-cara-sendiri daughter like me . mianhae !~

thforgotten hardly forget :(

2011-01-25T22:05:00.003+08:00

......aku berhenti berharap .

do you hear me when i say iloveyou ?

2011-01-24T23:33:00.003+08:00

earlier today , i went for my Ujian Undang-undang Jalan Raya . Alhamdulillah , i've passed , 47/50 *satisfied smile* . So , this saturday , bengkel session . yadayadayada . mana2x jak la .

I re-organised my room sweet room this afternoon . then coming from nowhere but from my desk drawer , i found back my long lost so called diary . I bought it when i was in primary 4 and i wrote everything happened , what i felt in there . i lost it when i was changing room with my brother . glad i found it back :)

I read through all that written . it's just like reading a comic with full of sense of humor . ahaha . i laughed alone seeing the ugly handwriting , spelling error etc etc . lots of story been told . friends quarelling , punishment frm teachers , cinta monyet etc etc . and not to forget , missing family , dad and bro :(

If i were given a chance to turn back time , childhood would be my last choice . i don't want to go through it all once again . back then , i'm only a child who was missing a lot of her daddy's love and brother's protection . the girl who can only meet her family once in two years . abang went for his further studies in Japan , seldom came home . My dad works in Medan , Indonesia for 11 years , since i was born onwards . Unbearable loneliness . thank God mummy was there :) tha's why i am extremely close to my dad and a good sister to my bro . :-p

why me ? i've nothing you're looking for .

freedom is not free :(

2011-01-23T15:14:00.002+08:00

i envy them . seriously . to the core .

they can talk whatever here . they can express everything they wish here , in their blog , page , diary or whatsoever you call it . they can always tell the world how do they feel , what they're thinking , their thoughts , everybody has their own freedom to write .

it's simply because , i cant . ):

mianhae . sorry . forgive me . apologize . this time i really wanted to say it out loud . i wanted to be heard , noticed . please , glance at me even just for once . *puppy eyes* i know you're gonna read this , purposely i wrote to tell the ugly truth , to erase the beautiful-dressed lie , the phantom and so the pretend i did before .

i don't need to say much things .and so are you .thank you . thanks . gumawo~
you know i know what we know XD

the only certain things are the uncertain things :)

2011-01-22T23:21:00.004+08:00

annyeong haseyo !

haha , tetiba ja akuh post entry . sorry la sesapa yg view my blog hoping for new entry .

it's just about to be written anyway.

oh anyway , above is the picof a few of my schoolmates.

synonym to be called "Gay Boy"

why ? mostly rendered by their look , style etc etc .

Basic description :-

Afiq - everything about victory .

Zany - Mr Pres . ( he is an LDP President)

Amy - pinky boy .

Saad - so-called ex-player XD

Dany - silent killer [!]

Wiwin - mr . casanova

i miss them like a lot . mereka nie hidup d mrsm tuh mmg bnyk cerita , spekulasi , kontroversi and cetus revolsi di sekolah tuwh . Diorang la nadi kelas 4K 2009 . tiada mereka , mati kesunyian kelas tuh . haha . tapi biar bgtu , mereka budak pandai :)

just now was texting with Afiq Hidayat Aripin , an engineer-to-be , currently persuing study in Universiti Teknologi Malaysia . so we talked about so many things . he has never been this sporting when he's talking to me .

sepanjang kami b'mesej tdy , mesej yg plg m'gelikan hati ,

me: all in all , dapat la jugak kan kw menyesuaikan diri sana ?

afiq : boleyh la . budak batch 16 paling popular bah nie :-D

me: afiq , were you born to be famous ? dari dulu lagi . haha . caya la .

afiq : aq pun ndataw napa aku gnie :p

yeap , it's kind of undeniable . he's the person never escape from popularity .

all in all , i'm glad he's doing well . i miss to ask for his guide in add maths . haha .

oh btw , to all my dear friends who are interested to take engineering course , this guy, Afiq Hidayat Aripin whole-heartedly recommended you to enter and join him inUniversiti Teknologi Malaysia (UTM) .

i think i know what i'm gonna be somewhere in the future . . .eventhough it's not really for sure . .

yeap , it's obviously to be a...
. . .LAWYER . . .
anyway , will be discussed further after result be announced . ngee~

dear readers , friends , followers .if you notice , ive done a lil bit renovation of this blog .how is it look like ?is it okay ?kindly drop some comments , critics etc etc in the shoutbox k .
fr now , bye bye :) :)

the road not taken :P

2011-01-14T20:04:00.008+08:00

k , by the time kamu baca nie , jan kamu say Amiinn arh ?

t pas 40 kali , leh t'makbul tuh . naa . . ndataw tuh arh . haha .

k fine , just kidding .

macam mau tunjuk perasaan pun ada bah sbnrnya tuh . tapi , maw protes dgn sepa kan ? diri sndiri jugak yg hobi makan . haha . no , actually bukan itu sja penyebabnya tuh . the changes in my lifestyle , i think that should be the cause . anyway , terima la hakikat , fera gumuk suda :(

my mummy 24/7 non stop complaining bout me . huhu . it makes me feel really bad about myself . uhuhuhu . and abg , it kind of suprising me la byla my abg dah stop teasing me kan . haha . daddy , no komen sja tuh . (:

stop membebel pasal itu . bikin fera sedeyh sja . huhu .

oh and btw , sorry , mcm b'habuk suda nie blog w/o any update . huhu . sometimes i don't know much what to blog about so i prefer just remain silent . hehe .

recently , i believe its kinda a hot topics especially among those SPM student batch 2010 . huhu . it's about future course to be taken in IPT later , for urm , JUly intake i think . not too sure . some says , smewhen on September . mana2x sja la kaan . to be frank , this topics seemed to be bothering me these days . i've filled up the UPU form but i guess i need to do some changes and updates . should be done right after result is announced .

anyway , i just realized that it's kind of difficult to defined my interest . when people asked about my ambition , definitely i would say , TO BECOME A DOCTOR w/out thinking twice . hurm . actually , from the bottom of my heart , i would like to become a teacher , a lecturer , tutor or whatever related . subject ? definitely English Language . that's the only subject i'm interested whole-heartedly after Biology . hehe . so i plan to take TESL . hajiman , my parents are totally against it . the reason , biarlah fera sorang yg taw , nnty ada lak yg menyumpah klw fera reveal . hehe .i couldn't think any other than that . so i let them choose for me , to ensure everyone is happy . they narrowed my choices into 3 fields , medic , finance and law . definitely law will be listed out . never crossed my mind the thought of being a lawyer or anythg related . finance ? i don't really know in depth about it . medic ? i'm afraid i'm not eligible to but medic will be my 1st choice . tapi kan , klw result fera nnty agak2x nda layak mw amek sains , dgn stubbornnya fera akan amek TESL . eheheehehe .

oke , membebel pasal course pun sudaa . apa lagi ya ? oh ya , ini bah , akhir2x nie , sjak thn bru nie , mood fera nda menentu . kjap happy tp sekelip mata sja leyh tukar jd marah . alih2x , jd sedeyh pulak smpai leyh nanges . napa tuh arh ? mmg gitu ka klw entering 18 ? ain't i supposed to be happy now ? enjoying life to its best . . huhu . and actually , i just want to stay back . stay where am i now , as a carefree teenager w/out any pressure . w/out hv to think about future . may i ? huhu . ah , shut up fera !

bah oke la . cukup la m'bebel2x .

*******************

aha , just a random pic .

sometimes , picture tells thousand words .

P/S : at least , u put my mind at ease :)

next time , think twice , act wise :)

2011-01-10T00:01:00.005+08:00

I've done something i never do before .

and again , i think i was wrong .

i should never do that .

aiyak ! i'm out of my mind .

nevermind , things had happened .

what the more i can say .

there should be no regret .

NEKAD ! lupakan . . .

mission : hilangkan diri :(:

if only i can :p

i love to eat .

2011-01-08T14:15:00.007+08:00

fera makan lagi . ehe .

fera nda pndai kenyang . pa jadi dgn fera nie ?

ok fine , it's an old pic but that's exactly what i'm doing now oftenly . siang malam , makan je diurus . either i'm at home or out at the town , my mouth can't stop chewing and so my stomach can't stop churning . huhu . this kind of worrying me but , all the worries and anxieties seem to fade away completely wherever and whenever there's something for me to eat :p

teruk kan ? masa org busy pergi kerja , budak2x busy pegi sekolah , kawan2x akuh busy pegi kerja , PLKN , and continue study , fera plak asyik makan sja . oh , how pathetic is that ? huhu . yeap , sometimes i got myself busy with the work at either mum or dad's office , but still , i keep on feeling hungry . i know , i got to control myself , or else , it is fatal for me . i keep on having my meal but thank God , since i started my holiday , i only gain half kg . haha . that's a relieve anyway .

lately i rarely stay up late nite . why ? because i force myself go to sleep . otherwise , i wil feel hungry and gatal2x pegi dapur cari makanan . sudah la dapur rumah tuh syurga makanan . alahai . nasib baik la pintu dapur tuh ada alarm , mlm2x bila dibuka , b'bunyi la tuh satu rumah , so taw la fera malu jugak kan . hehehe . pretty lucky .

even my eldest bro pun kata , "fera makan la banyak2x , biar teda boyfren sna" . huhu . sounds harsh but he's right . manada lelaki suka pompuan makan bnyk , kan3x ? to be honest la kan ? ehehe . agaknya abg trauma tgk fera nanges2x lagi . teruk kan ari tuh , abg ? sori , fera teda tmpt mengadu . hehe . neway , let bygone be bygone . eh , keluar tajuk pulak suda . heesshh . abaikan eh ? ngee .

since i am now so addicted with korean stuff , this includes the meal and the food which i saw in most of dramas i've watched . no wonder most of the korean , i mean the artists come with slim bodies , hardly becoming fat because they rarely consume rice . i know , rice is actually carbohydrat provider but as in Malaysia , it's the main food , we tend to consume it excessively . rather than the korean , they eat more of veges , wheat , and soups . nah , tengok nie . sepa yg lapar , sabar la ya .

Kimchi

- a tradition meal served by mixing the veges with spicy prawn seasoning .

Korean Bibimbap

- a bowl of rice comes with veges , meatloaf , egg and gojuchang .

Jeongol

- soup served for a big family .

for more information , visit Princess Of Korea . Credits given to the blogger .

waah , sedap bah nampaknya . maw makan lagi . haha . macam ada . so far makanan luar negara yg pnah fera mkn pun , sushi jak la , abg fera yg bawa dari Jepun msa dulu2x . hehe . so , no wonder kan napa mereka kurus , putih n chantek . hehehe .

so , wahai kwn2x ku yg jelita , rupawan and apa2x la . jaga2x la makan anda k , jangan jadi mcm fera . makan nda suda2x , nnty jadi chubby cam fera , nah , padan muka ! haha .

bah , oke la ya . mau mengadu pasal nie jak pun . haha . bye .

the jealousy .

2011-01-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

fera trep kiyut sebentar .
hate it ? kindly leave . =)

ahh ! fera mkin montel kan ?
be honest ? huhu .
nie la akibatnya mkn nda suda2x . haha .

haha , lama btul suda since the last tyme fera jalan guna payung .
tuh la fera rjin2x amek gmbr pulak . haha .
hurm , hujan bh tuh . so , mw elak demam , guna la payung .

TRIVIA !~
oh and , btw , there's one kind of investigation been held . i happened to be watching it on TV , don't remember what channel was that . usually when it's raining , surely people will run to avoid being too wet bcoz of the rain , am i right ? it's een proven that if you're running instead of walking during raining , you will actually be more wet rather than if you're walking . so . next time , avoid running . walking instead =)

*****************************************************************

okay , fine , so today my dad has started to complaint about me being too carefree this holiday . haha . here it goes :

Dad : I see you're really enjoying your holiday, girl ?
me : what am i supposed to do ? get a job ?
Dad : at least , read books . you're going to U after this anyway . you still have to learn , isn't it?
me: yeah , i guess so .
Dad : You're too busy with korean stuff , it's just for refreshing . do some other beneficial things .
me : ah ya , i got it , arasso . *smiling*

so , to ensure that everyone is satisfied , i went to library this afternoon and borrow 3 books . those come with labelling are borrowed from the library . others are mine except Sophi Hannah's novel , it belongs to Yiyin . aha , sowiey yin , t'bwa balek akuh . haha .

i am interested in studying English Language this holiday , just to empower and enhance my language . it's actually a suggestion by Amy Shikin , bestie . hehe . haven't asked my parents though . hurm , we'll see .

can someone bring me to my past time where i was n Form 5 on 2nd semester ? i promise i will do much better . fine , now i started to worry about my future . will i get the admission to University ? as you probably aware that i didn't really perform in my studies as well as some of my friends . how regret i am right now huhu. there's no use of it anyway .

i really wanna say something , i really envy my friends who got SPC scholarship ! i really wanna say it out loud ! how lucky they are ! i wish i'm one of them but it seems like God has another plan for me , right ? *sedapkn ati sndiri* .

till then , bye .

just say the nice things :)

2011-01-03T17:19:00.009+08:00

mood : furious !

arggghhhhh ! i wanna scream out loud , i wish i can .

yeap , MOOD SWING , and i can't help it . mind me , i'm not in a very good state of mood . sometimes , feeling happy , sometimes i'm feeling annoyyed . i don't like it either , it's just that , i can't do anything regarding it .

and worse , i don't even know how to express it , how to get relieved . it's burning inside me . believe me , the smile on my face , it's just a fake .

there's no point either on breaking things , or whatsoever , it's just getting me into trouble . so what should i do ? do i have somebody to tell ? ABSOLUTELY NO !

so , people around me , mind me , and i'm really sorry if i hurt you , for being an ignorant . not in the mood .

ok stop it !

**********************************************************

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 !~
wish u all the best throughout this year .

i hope it's not too late to wish everybody since today is just 3rd January 2011 .

got new resolution perhaps ?
certainly ! and everyone under the sun would be saying ,
" to become a better person than before "
whatever it is , goodluck in achieving one self goal .

mine , naah , dont ask :p
still , there are things should be kept secret :)

**********************************************************

New year , new handphone ? XD
hope so though :):)

currently i'm using this type of handphone , Nokia N79 . The best model of handphone i ever have . this phone satisfied me the most . quality megapixels , 4GB of memory , music playback , WiFi , all are doing just fine with me . It's a present from my dad for achieving 8A's in PMR 2008. i've used this hp for 2 years now , still functioning well . it's just , the battery got problem due to some careless habbit of taking care of it . the other reason why i do want to get a new one because i want a new style . that's all.

as was stated before , i am crushing on this hp model for now, NOKIA X5 . why ? it's very unique in my view . it's in square shape and it's slide model . i love to have slide model type of hp ever since the first time i'm using hp . well , some people say sliding hp is more tendency to break down . for me , it all depends on how a preson take care of the hp itself . why blame the model instead , am i right? according to what i've read bout this hp , it has QWERTY keyboard as u can see , comes with 2GB free memory , music link button , 5MP camera , WiFi ofcuz . it's just nice . in Tawau , the current price is RM620.00 ONLY ! ehe .

but the problem is , the tauke of the hp shop strongly recommended to me that i shldn't buy this hp . for him , this is the worst product of Nokia he ever see . he said then , it all depends on me , still , whether to purchase it or not . ehe . that's why my dad pun agak ragu mw beli untuk akuh . aiyak ! my dad asked me to survey for another type of hp instead .

ok so this is NOKIA C6 . pretty cool , right ? i think this hp is also nice for me . the properties and features more or less like NOKIA X5 mentioned before , it's just the model and the shape are different . but i bet the price must be much more expensive than the X5 . my budget is just around RM600-RM700 . not sure if the price is around that . if yes , than i should pick this one since the tauke dah bising2x pasal X5 tuh kan . ehehehe . this time guna budget sndiri so kna la plih betul2x and yg bersesuaian . ehehe .

so , if u were me , will u buy a new hp ? if yes , which one ? or will u go for Sony Ericsson instead ? which model ? can u suggest for me since i don't have the rough idea of SE hp . thanx , ur respond are much appreciated .

you and i , just friend :)

2010-12-30T14:09:00.005+08:00

oh no !
itu mustahil .
kw dan akuh cuma kwn , kn ?
lagypon, bru knal . haha !
it can't be , truly impossible .
mianhae~

n btw , the person is not spongebob .

sweet distraction :)

2010-12-29T20:52:00.004+08:00

Korean stuffs !!~

aha ! saya nmpk Kim Hyun Joong ! ehe .

inilah kerjaku akhir2x ini . akuh baru sahaja m'habiskan rm50 kuh dgn m'beli majalah mandarin yg mmg akuh nda phm sepatah apapun . so , dpt tgk gmbr jak la . dalam suma2x tuh , ada dua ja majalah versi BM . aha , how pathetic ?~

teapa , suma saya beli .
semata-mata demi . . .

Kim Hyun Joong oppa !
*screaming!!*

but , for God's sake i need a translator . i can't just sit down , staring at the posters of HIM , yet not knowing any single thing written . huhu , kinda weird , do ya know dat ? yeah i know , that's why i don't want to put my interest at thos Korean stuff whatsoever cuz i know i will become so mad about them . now , my life can't be without THEM ! aha !

true friend of mine :)

2010-12-26T21:53:00.003+08:00

how i wish i can say these three words to someone . someone who used to be my scarf to wipe my tears and a shoulder to cry on . SPONGEBOB , imissyou~

i still remember how we known each other at the very first place . and within years , our friendship enhanced and i see it as eternally :)

HE , or i prefer to call him , my spongebob , is the person who takes friendship as his everything . and i can call myself lucky to be one of his bestie , or maybe , the only one . if only people can know him better , nobody would like to lose him , as friend though . he is always there , offering hands to lend , and never feel tired of listening . whenever i fele lonely , i can always turn to him . yeah , sometimes , he is a bit annoying to me but it's still unbearable . come on , nobody is perfect . he texted me almost 24/7 except if i'm havin class . oh dear , i miss that moment .

but , the blind always see what he wants to see , and i'm the one who is blind . i took him for granted . i never care about his feeling . whenever i needed him , he'll be there . but , in contrast , i'd always fnd a reason to avoid him . my bad :( the worst is , when i tend to misunderstood of his intention befriending me . i would rather keep a secret for this .

the one whom i thought was my other half came , entering my life . i was blinded by words . i was too excited with the newcomer and i forgot the true friend i have . for some times i never contact him , i mean , my spongebob . he tried to reach me but i continue being an ignorant . it hurt me each time i think about it , just ike a curse that never fade away from me .

one day , spongebob texted me , asking why am i not the way i used to be , avoiding ang totally ignoring him . i simply said , "i've found a new one , forget me" . i told you , i was misunderstood with him . if only i realized how hurt i made him felt . urrgghh ! damn ! we fell apart since then . i never bothered to text him or anything related to him . and he did the same too , probably the hurt was unbearable anymore . "forget me" , i said , so there's no reason for him to find me again.

i even missed out his bday , and sent a belated birthday wish to him , seems meaningless as he replied coldly . i sensed since then , i've made a big mistake of letting him go . still , i can't be bothered . before my SPM , he texted me , wishing me best of luck . seriously i miss him at that time but i was feeling awkward to text him ever again .

today , as i flashback all the past memories , he came across my mind , and i felt that i should apologize to him , at least . so i managed to text him . every explanations needed by both of us were told . now , i really see the mistake i commited not long ago . he is still how he used to be , forgiving , caring and minding you . yeah , we befriend again but i bet this time , won't be the same as before .

anyway , just remember , true friend stays forever . we may be getting to know trillions of people known as friends but ony a few deserved to be called , TRUE FRIEND . he is my true friend forever .

one thing that i learnt , plz , don't fall in love with your bestfriend . it would ruin everything , seriously . and the song sang by Jason Mraz - Lucky , for me , is just FAKE !

aha ! think as whatever you wish to :)

dear my SPONGEBOB !
stay here with me . i promise gonna be a good friend to you :)

cheers , fera .

Tagged ! Award !

2010-12-26T21:05:00.003+08:00

aha ! kena tagged lagy !
pa bleh bwat . org bagi , ambik ja la kan . hehe .
this time too , tagged by c dia , [syidaSyadaa] .
thanx much much !

weyh , swa dpt award , mna bleh lari dr kena interbiu kan . haha .

SIAPA YANG BAGI AWARD NIE??

ala , c dia tuh bah . sepa lagy , SyiedaSyadaa la . :):)

APA KOMEN ANDA TERHADAP BLOG YANG MEMBERI AWARD:

SUPER BEST !
why ? haha . ader gmbr KHJ , fez of ol .
and then , entry dy sempoi , simple , syok .
kehidupan remaja sangat2x . hehe .

AYAT YANG SELALU ANDA TINGGALKAN DEKAT SHOUTMIX ORANG:

"fera was here"
"hi , still remember me ?"
"followed"

TAG KEPADA 5 BLOGGER LAIN:

dear farhah
dear kiky
dear bobo
polan binti polan
the readers !

candid itu cun laa..!

2010-12-25T22:21:00.005+08:00

First time entering contest . haha . mana2 jak la .

akuh tuh ikut seja . tagged by bestie , SyiedaSyadaa .
Love you much much !

here it goes ....

maw ikot ka kamurank ? nah , tekan --- CANDID ! ---

setelah fera akuh selongkar , bru dpt jugak gmbr ie . ngee~
cerita cket . gmbr ni captured masa raya lepas . di rumah cikgu kitorang masa tuh . ckgu bwat open house kitorang pon datang la b'tandang . kitorang dpt invitation khas so arranged elok2 rmai2 , pegi umah ckgu guna bas . fine takda kaitan . hehe . time mkn kuih muih yg sgt la menyelerakan , ada pulak sorang kwn yg mmg suka b'gmbr candid gmbr curi2 .
tue je la ceriteranya . mkn smpai kenyang , b'gmbr smpai puas . hv fun ! ngee~

insan b'tuah seterusnya :

dear farhah
dear kiky
the readers

hehe . done .

endless hope

2010-12-24T15:32:00.003+08:00

it's a beautiful lie if i said i didn't feel down , depressed and so on . I still keep on waiting but it seems endless . even if it's taking ages , nothing would appear as i wish .

i'm actually talking about SPC , a scholarship provided by MARA . I'm applying for Diploma in Accountancy for December 2010 intake . I swear to God , i've done my best . in trial , yeah , maybe i wasn't getting the excellent result but at least , i've passed the requirements . as for the preparation of the interview , yeah , i've done my part as well , tried to understand this and that . during interview ? naah , that time i was screwed up . nothing was goin well that day . it's miserable and i don't wish to elaborate it here . even so , i'm still hoping for it . till now , till this moment .

Congratulations and a big applause to my classmate , Rahimah Rudy as she succedded getting the scholarship . She was called this morning by someone frm MARA HQ and she will be enrolling in UiTM this coming monday . well , it's a bit crazy la jugak kan . haha . kalaw akuh kata akuh jeles kat dy , boley ka ? truthfully , i am . As for Eyma , she doesn't receive any news as well . i really hope they do get the offer , urm i mean , we all get the offer , seriously hoping .

in the moment like this , the love from Allah is seriously needed . i didn't stop thinking of Him , and at the same time pray to Him for my chance . after all , that's the only hope have right ? even if it's seemed hopeless but at least i won't regret at the end after i did all the possible things i can .

the whole day i'm waiting for any golden call but to this extent , no news . people say , no news is a good news but it can't be applied this time . if God's willing and i don't receive any calls today , that means , i am getting no chance :(

i'm assuming that God sends a message that i shld be a doctor instead of being an accountant . frankfully , i was aiming to be a doctor since i was a kid . the reason i'm not applying for medicine for this scholarship is that i don't exceed the Biology minimum requirement . my bad :(

that's all i want to bluff about . i have no one else to tell. BTW , I really appreciate Cikgu Nas and Rahimah Rudy . the whole day they keep asking me if there's any news . i guess , it's so sweet . thanx buddy , thanx ckgu . :):)

So when you lost your way to Allah you should turn ,
as He promised He would always be there..

Unavoidable

2010-12-23T14:26:00.006+08:00

It's unavoidable anymore . I have to post something . It's gettin really dull in here .

As for a full respect of rereRehan [love her] , i'm updating , as you request .

so yeah , as you can see , akuh bukan m'hilang kemanapun , cuma akuh bnyk spen time tgk drama ni , Boys Over Flower . serious best , oke ? sepa2x yg belum tgk drama nie , kmu tgk la d mysoju.com or beli dvdnya . i can guarantee you this . ngee~

which one would ou choose in the end , the guy whom you love so much and promise to never let you go and rather die than to lose you , or , the guy who is always a you back , through your ups and downs , and would do anything o protect you ?

watch it and you would certainly understand what i meant .

That day , Cikgu Nas texted me and he said that he was bored . So i suggested to him that he should watch korean drama . haha , siot la akuh . and yeap , i recommended this story to him . i don't know if he really go and see this drama . up to him . hehe .

tukar cerita , that day akuh da register maw amek lesen memandu . that day gak akuh masuk join ceramah Keselamatan Jalan Raya . tapi , akuh wat derk ja . hehe . buduh sumbunk ka namanya tuwh? ntah la . boring bah . ish . anyway , next , masuk bengkel , baru on the road . bah yalah . mana2x ja . janji in the end akuhleh drive . haha suke suke :):)

hurm , maw bluff apa lagy ya ? oh ya , Nokia X5 is my current love at the first sight . haha . i really want this handphone so badly . sangat chumil , lagypon it's my favourite brand , Nokia . that day i went to reload my phone , and then i saw cool hp , and i want it , boley ? i am the person who can't hold on any longer if i want something . started to hint my dad to buy me this phone . my current hp is superb [for me] , but , its just that i want a new style . hee~ gila kan akuh ? teapa la , klaw dapat , alhamdulillah , kalaw ndak , MAW BELI JUAK ! haha .

oh dad , please please and please , grant me this new hp *blinking eyes* XD

It's been a week since my family from Makassar, Indonesia came over to my place . It's so great as i can rarely see them . Different territory shldn't make us fall apart , right ? so yeah , at least , my holiday is not so bad with their presence . they're goin back pretty soon , so sad *sobbing* :| oh i'm so sorry , my bad , no pictures .

oh and , to that someone someone , oh dear plz , u got me damn pissed off with u . u can gth with all your mood swing ! don't try to find me anymore or else , i'm hating you instead . urghh! i don't simply hate people , but you really force me to . i really hope you're reading this . you know who you're .

that's all for now . cheers .

the difference .

2010-12-14T12:17:00.004+08:00

the fact is that; i lost 10 kg [only!] averagely[if only this word is exist] since feb2009-dec2010.

even the most naked eye would able to differentiate it , i guess ? just dun be cheated , freaked or whatsoever , it's me , Fera Noormila Sari Binti Onchi @ Wisra .

well , they dun look too diff actually , right ? i'm not trying to prove anything either . it's just that , i'm feeling like i need to express my feeling somehow .

one thing that i can't deny even if i do , i'm way more different now compare to those days . anyone surround me would know it better . why ? i don't know . all i know is that , i started to loose weight when i entered MJSC Tawau . earlier , i have so-called culture shocked . the food taste so good , staying up late night , limited time of sleeping , those maybe the cause for the change . so yeah . people say , "fera , u look slimmer now ." and i don't know what to answer cuz i still feel that i am how i used to be .

oh slim n trimmed people , do u know how it feels to be a little chubby compare to u guys ? it's wonderful , serious . feelings like you're slightly different from others . knowing that u're appeared as chubby , cute and whatsoever. i have felt n i am still , till now . however , yeah , evry single thing doesn't only have the Dr. Jekyll's side . consider the Mr. Hyde's dark side of being chubby , as guessed , lost of confidence somehow , struggling to follow others . am i right ? don't bluff me , u will feel it somehow if u're in my shoes .

judge me as u like , fr now . previously , i always want to be like my fellow friends , don't have to mention their name , you shld know who you're . i mean , such a fashionista . try my best to fit in . i've never been , even until now . however , now , i feel like , why shld i look down on myself . i've got my own style haven't i ? so i tried to see things from different angle instead . i mean , just be myself . i gain my confidence in any way i feel comfortable with . honestly , it's hard to express it handwriting or i can say , handtyping .

one thing i hate about this holiday . i will be spending my whole day in home , doing nothing but online and just online for uncountable hours , eat this and that , sleep , wake up , sitting in front of latop again and again . aha ! guess what , i'm a type easily gain weight so these acivities put me in harmful zone . i am less stressed here , less sweat and whatsoever ! oh no ! i may gain weight even more than initially . so i hope , if i don't get the chance to go for SPC , hoping that July comes faster in any way . cuz it's time to enroll in U . hehe .

fine , enough of typing . see you .

cheers; fera .

bear it in mind , forever .

2010-12-13T23:21:00.008+08:00

Kim Hyun Joong ! Saranghaeyo ! !

SS501 really makes me crazy upon them ! Too bad that i just discovered them . hurm , actually it is all started when i watched Boys Over Flower . Kim Hyun Joong , the leader of this group was one of the actors . I love the drama soundtrack , Because I'm Stupid by SS501 . i admire them since then . they're not the first group who gets over me whole-heartedly since i knew DBSK even much earlier from Gummy . but i think , they manage to attract ma attention to their talent . favourite member , none other than , Kim Hyun Joong oppa ! Park Jung Min is not too bad as well . hehe .

however, i know almost nothing bout them . huhu . i'm now in the process of searching more regarding them . wish me luck . hehe .

as for now , i love their songs esp Love Ya . seriously i recomend them n their supertalent to you all .

Syieda , gembiranye sy dpt taw awk minat KHJ gak ! haha .

haha . mesty pelik kan napa akuh secara tiba2nya post gmbr2 nieh . saja jak . yesterday while i was waiting for my mum doing her shopping , i went to a nearby bookstore in Centre Point . that would be none other than Eaton's . initially i went searching for a novel , The Davinci Code , but i didnt manage to find it . so , i went to another book rack . here it goes .

i went to the non-fiction section , particularly, academic book rack . then i took one of the SPM books . i seemed to forget all what has been taught , for God's sake ! i know it's a simple question , regarding add maths , but , ntah . akuh tetiba ja blank matik ! haha .

then i remembered my late grandpa once told me . katanya , "bila kita tinggalkan ilmu , ilmu lagi jauh tinggalkan kita" . so yeah , after spm , macam la akuh ndataw , ada yg mau bakar buku la , ada yg mau tinggal begitu jak la . nduk , macam pandai sgt sudaa =|

that's why i wish i can continue my study any soon . wish me luck =)

did i mention about The Davinci Code novel ? yeah , finally i managed to get it , in Popular 1B . i'm happy . it takes me so long to read it . all this while , i just heard people talking bout it . other than online , reading novel is one of my boredome-eraser activities . hehe .

i'm back in Tawau . there's a lot of thing have to be done. rearrange my room , remanage my closet and bla3x . at least , my holiday won't be so dull and boring, right ?

i'm sleepy . nytes .

P/S : mr. Y , jika hubungan kita dulu kw anggap memalukan kw , maafkan sy kerana memalukan anda . kerana saya tak sapai hati nak menafikan . tak sangka kw b'anggapan bgtu . pergilah .

hangout time !

2010-12-12T09:46:00.002+08:00

it's all past . let bygone be bygone . let's move on .

errr . let's look back fr awhile. yesterday went fr hanging out with them . them ?

.fera,muniza,pQamoza,saad,inma,dany,gma,adli,ibrahim,izam,fandy,matnoor,iqmal,kang.

anyone else ? haha . sorry uh, ingat akuh ne tukang ingat ka ? ramainya la bh kita kmarin tuwh . bsing sak suria KK yg sunyi sepi itu. haha.

so sad tcer Cheryl was not there . so yeah . hanging out . bla3 . tgk wayang , Rapunzel . best la jugak . huhu . then , pegy CP blek . then , go on our separate ways . sedeyh la jugak kn . buan mac lae bru jumpa . KALAU JUMPA ??!~

tgk gmbr ja la k . pictures do tell another 1000 words.

GUMMY lurve ABC

AHA !~ i miss out something . ohmyGod !~ i newly knew that . selamat berbahagia ye korang berdua ! dear Gummy , dun worry , im not mad at you. i always know why would you do that . [gummy stands fr gma, ABC fr adli]

so finally , ituh la barang2x yg sempat akuh beli . mp3 akuh rosak utk yg ke sekian kalinya so akuh pun beli baru utk yg ke sekian kalinya jugak la kaan. yg dvd tuh pulak . ada crita di sebaliknya tuwh .

i am so into korean drama lately , currently , Boys Over Flower ! i lurve you Kim Jun !haha .
so , nak dijadikan cerita , akuh pegy beli la kn dvd BOF neyh msa akuh smpai KK . tp , fez2x tuwh , teda subtitle . akuh trima la jugak kn . then 2nd time akuh try , lgsong teada pa kuar . punya la saket aty akuh ! so i decided to buy a new one , LAST ! haha . so , utk BOF neyh jak , RM45.00 dah duit akuh melayang . teapa teapa . dah minat kn . yg 2nd dvd ne plak , oke jak tp ttp gak teada subtitle . so , akuh pura2 phm je la . hehe.

sbb tuwh la akuh tea maw tingu ne ceta mula2x msa d dorm lu . C Zqa la ne pnya pasal ! haha . I blame you CT Hazeeqah ! haha .

bh . letih suda tekan2x , taip2x . nak g shopping uh . hehehehehe . trip ! daa~

tears still falling

2010-12-11T22:10:00.002+08:00

this is not the first time . we got into a quarrel , at the end , one of us will be in tears . i thought i'll be strong since that day . i thought i can forget them all . i thought i can carry on without any single memories blinking in my mind .

but , God has other plan , i guess .

you called me this afternoon. the unexpected call ended as expected, another quarrel. and this time, no joke . i told you i hate talking while i'm tempered . i know i tend to say things which i didn't suppose to .

everything's revealed. now , everything seemed more logically. the most hurting part was that, again , i am the one who started it . so i should say, what goes around, comes around. i've been thinking deeply, should we end it ? or let's start a new life ?

at last , the issue is closed. we talked bout it calmly, no rush, no hate but it's still reflective. we apologise to each other and yeah, we end up finally , at the moment.

5.10.2010 , the date which i thought would be the starter of something eternally. i'm wrong. in this short term relationship i have, i've learnt a lot. i am now understand the value of trustworthy in a relationship. LOVE only isn't enough . just like a cup of coffee, it's not just the cafein , it's also about the cremer.

we end up , life must go on . i should thank you very much. at least u've made me feel loved, needed , appreciated. forgetting you might be not as easy as saying "just forget it."

tears falling. memories playing, hearts been healing.

as for other couples out there, please and please and please, trustworthy pays for ur eternal relationship. go for it.

as a starter .

2010-12-11T10:57:00.002+08:00

Hello, ladies and gentlemen out there . it takes me nearly 365 days fr the next update huh ? haha. it is as what i planned, continue blogging after SPM has ended.

yeah , seriously , SPM has ENDED !

no more books , no more late night revision , no more studying till my eyes got strained. wait, it's just like i ever did such thing. haha . i mean i seldomly study , rarely revise. anyway, it's all past. for the next 6 months , approximately , my life is completely free for anything i fancy to do.

i've got a list of what i am going to do this long holiday. as follows ;-

shopping
24/7 online
sleep
meeting nearby friends
travelling
applying driving license

haha . yeah . as it has been highlighted, indicates that it is the most ting i want to complete. i can't wait to drive on my own. looks so matured . waah! sot~

yeah , i will be having so-called lifetime holiday if only i don't get it. i prefer to keep it a secret for the time being.
"oh Lord , You know everything down here. I'm begging You for me getting it."

so , currently i'm in KK with mum and dad . initially planning to go for Teacher Win's wedding but i guess, i won't attend , for some reasons. Earlier today, Systah Inma n Moon texted me for hanging out together. I'll be there , I swear . for he'll be there , what could be better than that?

ah ya , mum's calling for me. i'll BRB anytime todayy.

cheers; fera.

so-called come back .

2010-12-11T08:24:00.002+08:00

can't of believing !~
fera's updating her blog .

yeap . i am now . it's been too long since the last time i updated . please, bear with me . i'm coming soon . it's still on-going process of updatng and upgrading.

dears , i miss you , i miss blogging , or either crapping .

cheers; fera .

hurt

2010-01-16T15:26:00.002+08:00

not the best weeks in my life.
two weeks away from home, everything seems going bad.

i'm left broken hearted, as usual. It's heartening to be the last person who knows the truth regarding your crush. It's how it felt right for me. All my illusions, imaginations were no longer mine. He's a playboy, people thought. He's crushing on someone else since last year and the worst thing for me to know is that, he mess around with my bestfriend's heart. Its hard to be told. serious.

till then. will post again sometimes. miss you.

ive got what i have to. not what i want to.

2010-01-03T09:31:00.002+08:00

si.fera.muncul.lagy~
ini budak kan. xtw2 masa bah.
tggl sejam ja lagy maw balek.
belum lagy serik2 on9. mereng btol.

I just want to spend the time left for me here. I mean, on9-ing. I really fell fucked up by all these things. Things that when i figured out back deeply, things i have are not what I want for myself. Yet sometimes, what is meant to be for us, is not what we actually demand. so yeah, I accept all whole-heartedly. emo pulak ne bah. haha.

ok so. this is my really last time, eventho ive said this b4. haha. frenz, im gonna miss you. pls believe me. i don't wanna do this but i have to. BYE ALL !

farha !~
[aku xleh post comment. ntah napa. pksa d cne jak. huhu]
x sangka suma jadi kenyataan.
tapi as i said. aku support kaw.
waa. sedih nie. tapi xpa. nnty tgk wyg lagy ya.
AVATAR mu cmna la tuh ?
haha. chenta ku sma avatar nda prnh brubah. haha.
ok la. hbis suda msa ku begilak2 ne.
nnty cntact2. daa.......
love u lyke owez.

ok all. again, daa.

goodbye.

2010-01-02T09:30:00.002+08:00

hepi.niu.yer.dua.zero.satu.zero.
jgn nakal2 ya thn bru ne.
rajin2 bljr bilang.
jgn mau berchenta sak kerja.
hahahahahaha !

fera gone crazy dowh~

begitulah nmpknya kalaw kegilaan muncul dalam diriku. BRAND NEW feranoormila~. 2o1o nie mesty maw berubah bah kan. so, yeah, hepifera~

but one thing makes me so not happy at all ! tomorrow, i'll be goin back to the GOLDEN JAIL ! But, i guess i'll be ok. despite of all my homeworks that have not been done yet ! n n i dunno when. haha. i guess never will til teacher asks us to submit the next day. haha. thats me ! dun believe ? ask ma fren. haha. buduh....

farha !
i dunno if u will ever read this.
but. the thing ive owez wanted to say is that IM SORRY !

n 1 thing lagy. akuh ndamaw kaw pndh sbnrnya.
tapi nda pa la law mmg ituh suda decision mu n ur family.
lgpown, aku sapot sak anythg 4 ur own good.
kaw d mrsm atw d smkt, nda jauh beza jgk, i mean our frenship.
so yeap. akuh enjoy klaw kaw d mrsm. n akuh rindu kaw klaw kaw d smkt.
haha. feramereng~
bah yalah kak !
haha.
daa.

so yeah. i think kan guys.. urm this gonna be my last post b4 i go back to da college tomorrow. fera sayang sgt sgt dgn kamu semua. nnty kita keep in touch lagy ya ya ya ! hehe.

daa ya'll ! muaahh~

worries.

2009-12-20T13:07:00.003+08:00

don't worry baby, i won't leave you.
but, somehow, you did.
so, i don't have much choices other than to make you worry..

I'm crapping. Lately i'm so into quotations. And proud to announce the quotes for today. Chill. So yeah. Today I woke up a bit late. Doesn't matter cuz..... ok shut up. You might get it if you're smart enough. Straight away had my breakfast with my parents. Oh yes, my mummy just get back from KK this morning. Then, next thing, guess what, straight away online until now. Damn darn dufest ! Yes, I am. I am lazy to figure things out regarding my homework. But, looks like I have to no matter what. less than 10 days I'm off to KL and before that, i have to make sure thing's ready to get back to the college which I miss damn much !

More than half a year passed by, I almost forget about THAT thing. But last night, He reminded me the same thing. My tears fell to my cheeks like the world was going to end tomorrow. Yeah, it hurts me that much. So, I ended up with my eyes swollen the next day when I got up, which is TODAY ! I never insist for turning back the time before. I'm so desperate since it's regarding about my lifetime dignity. They called me this and that. And I just swallowed it no matter how bitter it was. For the next six months I live like hell. Now, it begins when I thought it was just in my past. OH dear, why do you have to mention it again.............

I dreamt the same thing oftenly. What's hapening ? What's behind it ?

Happy Birthday, my MUMMY !
Together we seek for His Bless for our entire family.
Thanx for everything, my.
ILY !

birthdays again. ngee.

2009-12-19T09:21:00.002+08:00

18 Dec 2009

Happy birthday, Adek Ametis ku !
*not allowed to publicise her name*
May Allah bless you with His Love in everything you do !
study harder and fight me. haha.
trep eyh c fera ! ngee.

Yeap yeap. Yesterday was my Adek's birthday. How lucky she was of celebrating her birthday in the day of Maal HIjrah. So yeah. I sent her two messages. First, birthday wish followed byt Salam Maal Hijrah message.

So, for the muslims around the world,
Salam Maal Hijrah.
May Allah bless this new year of Hijrah full wth His bless.

Nothing much happened yesterday. My mummy went to KK by bus. I wished to follow her but my daddy certainly wouldn't allow me. So yeah. Stucked up in the house, doing nothing but online. hehe.

Im haunted by something i did in my past. How I really wish I could turn back the time and fix up things, hoping that everything would be better. But I know, I couldn't do anything else other than to move on and make sure that things wouldn't be twice in my life. I've had enough ! Another lesson's learned. Don't judge a book by its cover, please.

19 Dec 2009

Happy Birthday, Saad !
Semoga kaw ndak nakal2 suda ya ? ngee.
Wish you the best for your study.
Goodluck, bro !

Yeap yeap, another birthday of a friend of mine. I realize that days are coming and go juz like that. NO turning back. Age hiking up without a second stopped. So, that's our life cycled.

I've had a nightmare last night. No, not to call it a nightmare cuz it's not fightened me at all. OK, deal. It's a strange dream. I dreamt about THEM. And it's bothering me till now. I don't know how to react or respond. Hoping things would getting any better. That's all.

Time flies. 10 days more to go before I have to settle up everything. New year, means new journey for me, us, everyone. So yeah. I guess you get it well enough.

Till then, goodbye.

2009-12-16T09:05:00.002+08:00

totally pissed off !

Blackout turned out to be the serious problem faced by the residents in this area. my God. we are sufferring man ! anyway. there's nothing much could be done. My laptop is low-batt now. so, nothing much to talk either. ngee.

hey, it's 16th December 09 !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMY-RULE ~
May God bless you in everything you do.
Especially, your studies and...bla3.

*tua sudah kaw amy !* ngee.
~lalalala~

wish orang pun mcm ndak betul suda. so, that's the result of being so bored, irritated and annoyed by the blackout problems. ngee.
till then, bye.

add maths vs real life

2009-12-15T08:47:00.003+08:00

To master in add maths, you just have to feel the numbers. Feel that you need a solution in every problems you have. Completing the square or Quadratic formula, they're just the ways given for you to choose what's the best in every of your situation. That's the way how Add Maths is actually a real life.

It was when i did my add maths practice. I did realize that add maths has no difference when it comes to real life. There are certainly different situation, problems and obstacles. There'll come a time when you'll reach the junction, decide which way will head you to the solution. That's add maths right? We were taught many formulas, ways of solving equation etc etc, and these are only the ways for us to choose. Got it ?

So yeah. It's kind of a rough idea how add maths is similar with real life of us. I do have problems with add maths. And with that, I realize the reason why we are taught the particular subject. Not just to achieve 4 flat, credits in SPM or fame in school. If you do realize, there are purpose behind it. Some kind of way to train our brain in facing any problems ahead. These are the things that my brother tried to tell me all this while to let me know that add maths is not meant to burden our life. So, credits given to the top add maths scorers. But, do they really know why do they have to master it ? It all depends on the individu itself.

Lately, my handphone rarely beeps. I don't really mind actually. So I spend my time on reading Guides for Girls books. That day I went to library and I saw those books discussing about the way a Girl should lead her teen life. So, I borrowed the books and read it everytime I have a free time. Meanwhile, there're still lots of reference books I suppose to read instead. So yeah, how smart I am right ? ngee.

Last night, I found a new fact regarding myself which stated; I am not a good talking partner. hahax. Anyway, your life is all about what you think about.

I am more of crapping right now. So, till then. bye.

I still miss canDy. I will always do.

It is not as how I wished.

2009-12-07T18:39:00.002+08:00

i didn't expect my holiday would turn out to be so miserable as how it is right now. I admit that everything has not gone so well. I miss everything I have last year, when I was still a PAMPERED child to my parents, STUBBORN sister to my brother, SUPER-RIANG girl to my friends. But one thing that hasn't changed in me, SUPER-MALAS student. there's relation to what i'm going to elaborate.

as the youngest daughter in my family, I admit that I was so pampered. sometimes I know I was spoilt when I was going overboard towards my parents. I try to change the attitude until it becomes like over-changing. *btul kah jugak tue?* Yup. I become so independent right now. turn out to be so free-flying chic. Parents seemed like to let me with my life. Doesn't mean they don't love me anymore. It's just like they let me to decide what's good and what's bad for me. so yeah.

I miss all my oldy friends. YCG, ex classmates. Luckily met them at facebook, our connector. otherwise we are totally lost touch one another. Since I moved to MRSM, I rarely contacted them anymore even during holidays. One reason, because i've changed my hp number. Another main reason, is me. I'm not hiding. I'm not changed. I still love them but yeah. Things may changed. I'm still how I used to love them. Eventhough when we reunite during Raya tour the other day, I cant mix myself so well with them. I'm asking myself why do I have this sort of attitude ? Well, time decided. anyway, this week we will be going to the cinema to watch the new-released movie, NEW MOON. In fact, i'm not so into the movie. More about to hang out with them.

Problems are not only revolved them. It's also about my new life in MRSM. Problem encountered among my friends. not even to talk about homeworks, tasks, teachers, condamned result some more. It's getting very complicated. I'm about to lose one of my new bff . homeworks are only quarter done. Tasks hasn't started yet. Teacher keep urging me. crushes thing some more. These are like cracking my mind.

Till then. Mom's yelling at me. hehe.

evrythg is juz as expected; POINTER.

2009-11-26T16:49:00.002+08:00

dear readers,
say congratz 2 me. At least i got 3.0 abv for my pointer.

PNG; 3.44
TPNG; 3.50

so yeah. Thre's nothing more 2 be talked or regretted. Things happenned n i juz hv 2 accept it wholeheartedly.

Amy texted me diz morning n told me dat he already knew his pointer frm ckgu nas da cute emperor of SO block *giggling*. Then at da same time my h/r mummy, miz Zainom suddenly rang me n told me evrythg. Got a few of ma frenz paointer hike up. Some of them maintain, n few more got droppd down. We try again harder n smarter yeah fren..

Special congrats i bid to ma dearest rumet, yin, andy, afiq, zany, qa inma, NAZRIN, n few more threepointfiverz. Not 2 4get, our recordbreaker 4 diz f4 2nd batch, asnawi, ika, n ray jj who got 4.0 flat. I wish i stil cn share da satisfaction of getting excellent in exam. But.....

Mummy hr said i got cndamned with ma add maths n chemizt whch i managed 2 get C6 4 both. Huhu. Wht am i goin 2 do wif diz?plz. Dis crackz ma mind 2 da core, man!

Da worst part is i juz dunno whre 2 get started to build my renaissance when most of ma frenz are on their way 4 reformation. Parents calm me down n told me 2 get prepard 4 study. I juz dunno whr 2 start. Itz juz like idk any single thg bout th subjectz. N diz was wht made me crying. Plz, help me!

the afternoons.

2009-11-25T14:36:00.002+08:00

i dont trust boys.
except for my father n bro.

why do u hv to lie to me?
is it love worth nothing in ur eyes?
why u hv to say love when actually u leave?
what am i in ur eyes?

somehow, i really be greatful that i dont really accept u in my life those days.
dat sunny afternoon, maybe i broke ur heart.
at least today, diz cloudy afternoon wont shade my heart when i noe dat...
urrgghhhhh..hard to explain everythg.
i cant figure it why all ought to be like diz.
neways, love is juz not for me atm.

all i hv now is nothing.
other than family, frenz n bookz.
i noe they'll nvr upset me.

boy, listen.
juz get away!

cheers;
fera.

hurm......

2009-11-21T00:28:00.002+08:00

its been 9 monts n 10 days since the first day i spent at college. 2 sems had gone n it is where my life began. holiday promises no reliefness or happiness to me as everythg messed up juz b4 da holiday get started. so yeah. i got wut i deserved.

exam?huh. hell yeah. i noe i din perform my best. i deserved it when i got so far 3As 1B n 1C! tell me how can i live well this holiday?huhu. feel so down as a Bio Buddy yet i still get B for that subject. i realize wut i must do ryte now but not wish to state it here as im afraid that its juz simply a wish. huhu.

im no longer an SK12 ladies. starting on next year, i will be staying at SK22. hurm. i guess, shld be no prob dealing with it. hurm. lazy to elaborate on it.

btw, currently im viewing someone's pic during childhood. kwang3. so cute. haha.

till then. haha.

friendship creates a beautiful song in my heart.

2009-10-13T15:07:00.002+08:00

my God. sometimes, im more willing if God take me away this sudden rather than im willing to go thru all these things. trust me ppl, im hurt dat much. n sorry dat i really dun hv any idea to face, even to avoid it.

for some people ard me, im juz a baby doll to them. can be played easily. can even be thrown away whenever they feel that im juz a messy thing to them. I keep on counting days, hoping that this will stop n im able to stand all alone by me. yeah, im not perfect or even not good at all. but, do believe dat nobody is perfect. if u do, n u will at least give chance to ppl to improve themselves.

i dun hv any medium to voice it all out other than write it down here. i wish i can keep all by myself but i juz cant hold it alone. to share with someone, its not a very good idea as i dun want ppl to judge anyone. afta all, im not mentioning a name ryte?

ppl, do appreciate sumone besides u no matter how bad that person is as long as he or she is willuing to do anythg for u. somehow, no matter hw far u hv gone thru in life, no matter how great ur achievement outside there, no matter how handsome boyfriend or pretty girlfriend u've had, but still u're nothg w/o a friend.

yet ppl, as a human being who lived in a community, its not for us to only look for people's mistakes. reflect ourselves n try to improve day per day, frm time to time. God willing, we're gionna lead a simply happy life, even its not dat simple as we thought.

at the end of da day, all these obstacle will be remembered as a great challenge that has made us become more matured.

remember ppl, not everytthg we want, we're gonna get it.
bye.

suka.duka.suka.duka.

2009-10-10T14:44:00.002+08:00

hidup ituh penuh dengan suka duka. dalam masa yg sama, triumphs and glorious tue buley dtg ngn kita. so, beware ppl!

on the date of 1st Oct, 09, I lost my luvly grandpa. He's now RIP, hopefully. I was in da class, addmaths lesson when Sir Yusuf called me and sent me back. all happened so sudden. neway, i was expecting dat will come n yeah, thats it. ive no more tears roll down on my cheeks. i juz dun hv heart to think bout anythg.

sorry dat da next day, 2nd Oct., i was on my trip to Alor Gajah, Melaka. I had a seminar rite there. dun hv time to wonder why all the sadness n excitedness came at da same time. im happy while im sad. my God. so, i hv so many sweet moments while i was in Melaka. to elaborate it, i dun hv dat much time. im outing ppl. huhu.

i was stepping da world of MJSC Tawau on the night 5th oct. so tired. and im not attending lesson da next day. pfft!

then, da next day, 6th Oct., Hari Raya was celebrated at DSI. im so glad to meet all of them again. i miss them like hell dat tyme, even now...

ppl, say yes to AK747 (only for those who noes bout diz). but i hope i can say no to AK 546, which only me who noes bout it, in detail! urrggghh! it hurts me. but i dun hv da strength to stop it. well, maybe its da message frm Almighty God dat im not for it.. ppl, it hurts!

she is slightly different now. i dun noe y n wat change her. maybe, its only me who realize it. nvr mind. ppl change. i can accept dat. its juz dat, i can share nothing with her. its not as b4. but, she still can share everythg with me. ill be right there beside her. no worries, dear. wutever it is, dats it. things happened.

sorry for da lame post. ciao.

ppl, sometimes, its not everythg we want, we're gonna get it. remember dat. always hv faith in Allah. dats all. tc. bye.

happiness.

2009-09-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

^^Rayyan Safwan Hakeem^^

the eldest, Dyan Areesya Hannah.

most welcomed, Rayyan Safwan Hakeem.

so yeah, the newbie in our family has now named, Rayyan Safwan Hakeem. i think the person in JPN shld be annoyed when entering down his name on the list of the Malaysianz. sometimes, i dont prefer a long name. however, in this modern age, there are rarely babies got a short name. and even my name, is long enuff during muh time. teehee.

u noe wat, jealousy is a strange feeling dat even can be felt by a baby too. Dyan, her elder sister was so jealous with her bro as her mum was taken, she thought. she couldnt even see her bro or else, she will treat him roughly. kidz huh? hee.

praise Allah for this valuable gift.

remember dat day i told u bout the Raya Tour 2009 wif muh old frenz. luckily i got myself into the group n i really appreciate it. at the beginning, feel kinda awkward bcuz of so long didnt meet up each other then..urm..i hope u noe the feeling. but, as time went by, im getting comfortable enuff for gossiping, laughing and all.

cant forget how Asnawi used to tease me all the way thruout the tour. my God. haha. but, managed to take revenge on him when i non stof of teasing him back. got back up from Andey. thx bro. i nvr expect dat he will be dat naughty b4 diz. hahax.

b4 we went to Muniza's house, we went over to my former geo teacher's, chekgu Rafi. n i swear i cant hear anymore tease frm him. enough. my ears got tired. nerves got bored. n brain got fed up of stimulating. all those pokok kelapa still haunting me since i first got myself into MRSM.

chekgu, still cant accept huh? sorry.

duit raya?muehehehehe. got a few RM's only. and im greatful enogh of still getting duit raya in this age. hehe.

***********************************

so, tomorrow i'll be back to da college. i cant wait to see muh frenz n him. but i cant stand when thinking bout my job to deal with the LDP Meeting Room. huhu. Syazani's always shadowing my days. muahahahha.

so, see ya. daa.

2009-09-22T22:24:00.001+08:00

and one more thing, nvr wake me up from my sleep. cuz dreamz are much better then reality.

cuz im having bad days, tell u no lies.

2009-09-22T21:32:00.005+08:00

Salam Lebaran.

Maaf zahir dan batin. :-)

kay3. sorry for not updating any single thing these days. damn busy + tired then turn me out to be so damn lazy even to touch the computer.

idk wat the hell is happening to my blog. i chnged template n everythg messed up. huhu.

beb, im having bad days. i tell u no lies 4 real. really want to jolt down here but idk juz where n how to start. oh God plz. get me outta here. damn fucking messed up my days!

despite of these hell things, im so happy to welcome a newcomer in our family, Boboy, my 2nd nephew. [called Boboy till we get him a name. hee~]. so yeah, welcome dude!

this afternoon i supposed to be at my former class teacher's house for raya open house. But i juz came back frm LD so i missed out the open house. its more to a reunion for 3A 2008 babies. damn miss them all. tomorrow will meet them for another Raya Tour. hell cant wait!

i miss you everytime i breathe.

see ya.

should i?

2009-09-02T15:09:00.002+08:00

i'm jailed now. but still there's always to be shared with.

i hv new job ryte now. that is, being a counselor.

specifically, love n frenship counselor.

at the same time, maself need some counselings ryte nw. problems here n there.

i dont think its wise enuff to elaborate more on those things.

lets move on.

guys, next week is someone's bday. hv some thoughts to give him something.

the prob is, we nvr talked to each other. so wth of giving things to him?

told maself; fera, juz forget bout it.

but they say, thats the only chance to get along with him. sigh. huhu.

still in dilemma. even if this is juz a small matter. [for you]

end up here, peeps.

[he's not on duty today?sigh.]

**********************************

still, dont say you love when u're about to leave.

dont say

2009-08-30T19:37:00.002+08:00

sigh... how time flies guys.

its been a week since my 1st day holiday and its almost over.
at the earlier days, yeap. im longing to be back to the college.
but now. im so reluctant to. the same feelings everytime towards the skewldays.
moreover, will be fasting at the college 1st time w/o ma parents ard.
i'm feeling awkward. huh.

********************************
named the person H.
[i noe u lie to me. stop it, will ya?]

dont say u love when u're about to leave.

********************************

long lasting.

2009-08-29T12:00:00.002+08:00

i'm posting again, can?
boredom virus. it's killing me to the core. help!
yadayadayadayada.

someone says,
"BF is only for temporary. Someone special would last even longer."

do u agree?
as for me, yes i do.

so. its a random post again.
till then. daa.

randomness attacked!

2009-08-29T09:11:00.004+08:00

"the worst way of missing someone is sitting beside them,
knowing that u can never have them"

P/S: ily, [someone] !

***************************************
juz random memo. found it while i'm browsing juz now.
so, its 9.20am in th morning n i still havent taken ma bath. heh.

wanna go to da downtown. time 4 shopping [!]. heh.
not for raya okie. itz for my dorm at college. will be back soon. huh.

till then. daa.

yaay!! finally....

2009-08-28T22:26:00.002+08:00

^^random pic^^
okokok.
hye once again 4 today. idk y so eager to post entries. hahax.
fyi, regarding da pic, its my latest one.
[eventually, its taken while i was ondaway to KK 2 months ago]
peeps, im not in the mood of taking pic nw. dk y. huhu

ah ya. see my blog. hahax.
ive editted ma blog. so how? better or worse? hehe.
was inspired by rehan n yin's blog.
[hey guys, u bring great influence to me, noe dat? hahax]

besides, dun hv work to do. wth?!
ive a lot of works to be done. but. as this is holiday. so njoy! hehe.

till then. daa.

Activity Week of MJSC Too Wow!

2009-08-28T07:21:00.003+08:00

hello peeps. itz me again. heh.
hey, im fine. no worries. haha.
i'm on my holiday.
so again, ive been attacked by a virus, neither h1n1 nor hiv.
its boredom virus. i bet u noe it quite well.

well. im bored. easy to describe.
and i would like to tell ya guys bout wut hv i done in college.
[huh, wut i've done?]
itz more to wat ive gone thru. heh.
my last post [b4 da bday post] was abt Leadership Camp, ryte?

k. afta da camp, we hv our Standardized Test 3.
n u noe that it was the worst [!] exam ive gone thru.
here's da result.

B. Malaysia = 74 % [B3]
English = 86 % [A1]
Modern Maths = 57 % [C5] (!!)
Add Maths = 53 % [C5] (!!)
P. Agama Islam = 81 % [B3]
P. Akaun = 70% [A2]
Sejarah = 65 % [B3]
Physics = 55% [C5] (!!)
Chemistry = 52 % [C6] (!!!!)
Biology = 61 % [B4]

overall, 2 A, 4 B, 4 C.
okai. thats all. thats how bad i was. huhu.
neway, im kinda proud of my p. akaun.
itz my 1st exam n i got A2.
they said that Sir Nas quite happy wif my result. hua3.
[stop it, fera!]
but (!), i really dissappointed wif my m. maths.
its common for students to get A1 for that subject.
so, wuts the atter wif C5? huhu.
my former teacher, Ms. Hazirah drop my paper roughly seeing my result.
[sorry teacher. promise will do better next tyme]
i havent revealed my result to my parents.
only my bro noes bout it. huhu.

the exam is over n its time for...
Sem 2 2009 Activity Week of MJSC Tawau.

gonna tell u bout this. but will do 4 certain activities only.
my time isnt only 4 blogging is it? heh.

^^Explorace^^

it was handled by all the BWPs with da coperation with LDPs.
i was the one incharged in 2nd checkpoint with Nazrin n Inma.
[the pic was at nabila's checkpoint. i dun hv camera that time. sh*tz!]

urm. i guess this activity was quite enjoyable.
for us, the penjaga checkpoint [idk wth in english],
we're excited in bullying the contestant.
esp; for the not very familiar homerooms. haha. sorry guys.
do i need to tell wuts our activity in our checkpoint?
i guess, itz no need. only making ma post so boring.

^^Aktiviti Sembelihan (!)^^

afta the explorace, in the evening.
we had sembelihan activity. [again, wat is this in english huh?]
urm. we hv to slaught [i think this the one in eng] the 2 given chickenz. haha.
b4 that, ustazah Ain n Ust Muhsi had given us the explaination bout wut weve to do.

me? naah. im not the one who did it.
its Dany. n not 2 forget, Fatihah.

dany, din expect he would hv da courage to do it.
at first, he din even want to touch (!) the chicken. hua3.
as 4 Fatihah, no wonder la beb. hehe.

^^Picnic DS with Homeroom^^

where do u think all the slaught chicken were brought to?
itz for us to COOK n HAVE it the next day. hahax.
so, it was really depending on the one who slaught the chickenz
to ensure its Halal. [did u do it nicely, dany? fatiha?]hahax.
okok, i noe they did. heh.

back to da picnic day.
b4 da day, im begging Papa Firdaus to buy us Maggi Chicken 5 Spices
or wutever the name is. heh.
i really gasping for the meal. at last, we got it.
thanks papa. hahax.
n credits to Nabila, shes the one who cooked it.
with da help of us okai. hahax.

n the activity ended with us dinner together.
n btw, my gusi was bleeding that time.
sh*tz man! cant enjoy da food. huhu.

thanx to Mummy Zainoum, Papa Daus n urm. wut shld i call her.
teacher Azrin la senang. hehe.

^^Fashion Show^^

we move on to modelling activity, fashion show.
i din join. nvr expect me. haha.

but, it was da nyte which i cried 4 da 1st tyme.
its bcuz of...urm shld i reveal here?
neway, i really broken-hearted gurl here.
******************
plz guys, do appreciate ppl ard u.
even if they dun help u that much.
dun simply blame ppl this n that.
try to imagine u as the person being blamed for wut he or she did not on purpose.
wut would u feel? it really hurts.
*******************
btw, hope u're not confused.
u still on fera's blog. not yin's one.
i post her pic cuz ive no choice. haha.
[sounds harsh to u, yin? sorry. haha.]

******************************************************
these are not the only activity been held.
we also hv Kampung Nite, Pesta Pantun, Mentor, Science fair, n urm. forgot. heh.
but, i dun hv da picz. moreover, dun like it that much. hehe.

at last, da Activity Week is over.
i really hv fun, enjoy with all the activities.
really miss it. now back to normal life.
bookz, bookz, and bookz.

my relation wif my clazmates getting closer.
moreover, with homeroom. haha.

but wif him, still lyke dat. nvr talked. sad. huhu.
****************************************************

last but not least.
did i ever tell u hw much i appreciate the my homeroom.
nw im telling u.
really heart them.
love them.
somehow, they're the one who make ma life so meaningful here.
juz wanna thank u guys 4 everythg.
da enjoyment, madness n even all the sad n sorrow weve gone thru.

Ametis bah!

[cheh. jiwang juak. hahax.]

btw, all da picz are Yin's.
tq dearie.
[agak2 gay d situ. heh.]

till then. daa.

Happy bday dear girl!

2009-08-22T21:14:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday, Fera!!
May Allah bless you in your 16th bday.
May Allah grant ur wish.
Always hv faith in Allah.

Leadership Camp 2009

2009-08-01T06:43:00.003+08:00

hello peeps!
how r ya?
as for me, im kinda fine.

anyway,
im an LDP member ryte nw, starting frm last week.
LDP brings meaning of Lembaga Disiplin Pelajar.
nothg to be proud of.
its kinda a tough job, mentally.

neway,
last week i joined the
Leadership Camp 2009.
its so enjoyable.
moreover, he joined.
ekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke.

hurm.
ive been gone thru the worst exam of my life.
urggghH!
so sad!
i dont jnw the actual result yet.
so will post later.

jeles.

2009-07-21T09:19:00.002+08:00

aku jeles.
dia telampau perfect.
suma dia dpt.
hurm.
nasib dia mmg baik la.
aku tumpang gembira.
tp hati ne ttp jeles juak la.
pa le wat.
kesannya, kemarin aku dpt taw sal "benda tue" tem asar.
trus plak aku rajin p semayang.
berdoa minta tenangkan hati.
muahahaha.
tp skang ne aku leh terima kenyataan la juak.
hakikatny mmg dia telampau bertuah.
bah ndak pa la.
aku tumpang gembira jak.
rezeki dah ditentukan per....hehe...
k la.
ciao.
daa.

2009-07-19T06:56:00.002+08:00

yeah.
i got 3.57 for my pointer.
n guess wut,
i got the Sijil Penghormatan Pengetua for that.
thank God.
i got 3.5 and above.
i hope i will get better next tyme.
thnx 2 everyone for da support.

yadayadayadayada.
i've nothg else to blog.
im lying.
lots of thgs to blog abt.
but ive no time for that.
i guess.
we will meet again next tyme.
daa.

i found it.

2009-07-15T09:53:00.003+08:00

kami nda jdi p Semporna rmai2 ngn bdk h/r.
well aku sedey tp ndak pa la.
postponed ja pown.
bkn cancel.
neway, sbr ja la.

and as for my h/r siblings.
im sorry for not granted ur wish to go for the trip.
trip. somewhere out frm this mjsc.
its not that im not trying for it either.
but its bcuz of time.
so sorry guys.

oh ya.
about hari tue.
post yg aku upset tue.
aku akhirny jmpa sua salah aku apa.
salah aku ialah,
aku nda pndai take care ngn durg.
what i mean is,
aku nda taw cmna mau ambil berat sal durg.
aku prihatin la ngn mslh yg durg tp aku nda pndai tnjk ma durg.
lau tem prjmpaan tue.
tem sesi luahan mslh,
aku diam ja lau durg ceta pun.
tue la maybe durg rsa aku ne nda selari ma durg.
so sori guys.
its my bad, my fault.
i will try.
giv me tyme.
but dun dump me.
plz.
im hoping on u guys while im in here.
luv ya owez.

till then.
daa.

discrimination

2009-07-07T09:45:00.002+08:00

"diskriminasi menjatuhkan aku
reputasi ini menjadi bisu"

P/S:

thx andy 4 da support.

i noe i can rely on u guys.

but 4 certain things,

its not that i dun want but i really dun noe how to share with.

tq once again.

luv ya.!

things're getting worst.

2009-07-06T09:39:00.002+08:00

aku nda kesah buat apa pun utk wat org sekeliling ku hepi.
anythg la durg mau suh aku.
k ja bah.
tp napa durg nda prnh letak aku d tmpt yg spatutny.
sbnrnya aku mkin nda phm.
pa juak salah ku ma durg ne.

ada ka ptut.
tshirt klas tue.
suh aku wat.
tp nama aku kena delete dr senarai.
taw la aku ne 6 bulan ja d klas tue.
pengkhianat kan aku.
bah gitu la kan.

d h/r pulak len lagy.
tia maw jo melayan durg 2.
ketara ne bah perbezaan layanan.
duhh.
diskriminasi tul siot.
pa bah juak ne.
aku syg bah ma durg.
tp jan la wat aku terkilan sgt bah.
suma yg aku buat
semata2 mau kasi aktif ja tue.
for fun, frenship, avoid boredom, salahkah tuh?
mls la aku mau ungkit balik d cne suma2ny.
nnty blg aku demand, perasan gipang pa suma.
malas sa!
tp cuak la pkir2 balik ya.....
sapa yg kasi timbul idea utk gerakkan balik tue h/r smpai skang?
phm2 la sndiri.

aku hrp teda la bdk h/r aku yg bca ne post.
matai na aku.
cuma aku nda thn bah simpan sndiri.
so sori la ya lau terasa.
aku ne lama sua terasa ma gayak2 urg sekeliling aku, diam ja pown kan.
my blog, my property!

tension.

2009-07-01T08:15:00.002+08:00

hello peeps out there.

how r u?

p/s: be greatful of ur life out there. life in dorm is suckz!

yeah. suckz.

suckz to the core.

when u noe that everyone around u nvr listen to u.

when u noe that everyone in ur class nvr realize ur presence.

nvr want ur presence.

kesempatan dlm kesempitan

2009-06-24T11:25:00.002+08:00

yadayadayadayada.

i'm having computer class ryte now.

manage to post a blog.

muahahaha.

teacher's explaining this n that in front, and me?

hahax. sucks.

im bored.

moreover, seeing this boring blog.

okok. will update this blog when i go outing later.

i promise that.

oh yeah?

im falling in love.

but, to a freaky guy.

what shld i do?

Gosh!

thats all for today.

teachers yell at me.

daa.

on progress

2009-06-09T07:55:00.002+08:00

this blog is till on progress.
sorry.

i will update later today.
enjoy!

fera misses dorm~

2009-06-05T17:35:00.003+08:00

hey there ppl? wazzup2?

miss me?

there u go....hee~

im sorry for not keeping u updated wif stories n picz..

i myself din understand what actually stopping me frm updating?

lazyness?fed up-ness?wut else could it be?

anyway, im apologize.

tenang bah kao jok!

today is the 7th day of skewl break.

hurm. another day w/o anythg worth.

sit in front of the comp since 6am.

editted the freaky friendster.

shoutout changed within minutes.

yet im still leaving my blog totally dead!

imagine, if i do add maths practices rather than on9-ing within these hours.

i shld be mastering all th chapters taught!

but look at me, what did i do?

huhuhuhuhu.....

and thing that i hate to see during this holiday is...

the electronic balance in my house.

i have my own reason for this.

...or maybe u noe it urself?

since i take so long to post a new update.

u might be wondering what had happened in the college..

hurm. in short, semester 1 make me feel like spending a year in college.

yeapp indeed, its true.

ive gone thru many things.

things that i dont ever expect b4.

n now, dun expect me to elaborate each of them.

ive not much time left to blog about.

i guess. i will leave u wif all the question marks here.

see ya soon daa....

ferarindudorm .

i hv not enough words to describe it all.

2009-05-02T18:00:00.004+08:00

I hope u're not expecting the death of me.

sorry for not updating since last month.

freakin busy, n i am jailed, u noe.

There are too many things happened during this gap.

unfortunately, even till now i still lack of time to blog it all.

so i guess, im here juz to say sorry cuz im not keeping u updated, once again.

it doesnt mean i wont, anyway.

juz keep patient n u will be served with all stories that i wanna share.

so for now, im sorry.

no update at all.

take care n goodbye.

Dream Guy...

2009-03-18T08:17:00.003+08:00

They've always asked me bout my dream guy..."hey fera, i wonder what sort of guy are u searching for?"i wish i can say, "none of ur business!"anyway anyhow,im gonna reveal that question...
okaay..first of all..i believe that every girls out there search for the one that feels right..some search for the perfecto,some search for the ordinary one,some even search for the extra ordinary, like the feeling of difference..
as for me,i am the first one mentioned, searching for the perfecto, to be honest.however, i noe myself better..i am the one who is so far away frm the perfection..and how come i demand sumone who is perfect?this probably bcuz im so not perfect so i want sumone to complete me..the reality is,no one is perfect!
im not stating any condition to be my partner..boyfriend, particularly.but at least, im finding for this:

Kind hearted.
noes how to take care of me, esp my feelings!
will be there for me in any situation, brilliant or bad...
ready to be criticized!
prove what he says..i dun want juz love quotes here n there..prove it!
im lying myself when i say, im not demanding for the good looking one.
respect me, family, n my friends.
utmost of the importance, nvr cut off my freedom!

i realized that evry human creatures commit mistakes here n there, even myself.

innocence guy, has not born yet!

at the end of the day,

we hv to accept any guy that is fated to be our partner, spouse or sumthg like that.

we cannot go beyond what is fated for us.

whether the guy has the criterias above or not,

we hv to accept the person whole-heartedly.

but still, im looking for the one ive mentioned. :P

maybe some readers out there

might be wondering..

"why the hell do this girl thinks about this such things at her age?"

again, i wish i can say,

"well, why the hell do i care wif ur words?"

sounds harsh, but im only being me.

Its holiday time!

2009-03-16T06:49:00.002+08:00

Hello guys!

how r ya todaay?

if u ask me, im well!~

im posting pics!

whoaahh!

yeahh...cuz i noe my blog has been so dull w/o pics..

so i put a random pic of mine..hee~

fera loves you~

craap ryte...

all of sudden i post my matrix card here...

u can see ryte there "my nyawa"..

yeahh its true...

in our skewl, u've to bring ur matrix card wherever u go..

except in the toilet at ur dorm...common sense bha!

so, its like ur life, take it wherever u belong...

"fera, where's ur pic?"
shhhh.....shut ur mouth up!

i hate my pic ryte thre..

thats why~

***********************************************

Activity Report

On the last monday,

our skewl or i can say our college organised

a Symphony Night..

or sumthg like that..hee~
so, i joined nasyid, represented my homeroom...

i hv to borrow Mimi's baju kurung cuz i hv nothg to wear..haha..

naah...we got nothg...

i admit that i made a lyric mistake somewhre in the song..

well, lucky im not the solo of the group..

or else.................

after ive done wif my performance...

striaght away i went to help those guys who were on duty at P.U.M kiosk..

i can say, im the chef that night...

oppz....actually i was juz helping to cook those meals that were being sold..

dun ask me about the profit or the loss that nyte

cuz i hv no idea of it...

ask the Pengarah Urusan, Anselm..hehe

The next day,

we're visited by a few students from

Sarasit Pithayalai High School Thailand.

they're goin to spend time here for the next 5 days..

everythg seemed so great at first but its not as expected..

i hope i can befriend them but unfortunately..

this bloody buddy protected them juz like they're the President of America..

ohmyGod!

anyway anyhow,

the last nyte which is on the thursday night was the cultural night

where they performed etnichs dance and everythg that so called culture..

so, me, Yiyin and Iswari have planned to approach them no matter what..

and guess what, we're lucky enough that nyte

and we got to noe one of them, named Boss..

at first of the conversation,

i tried not to burst out laughing in front of them..

kiter tnya lain, dia jawab lain...hee~

and bla..bla..bla..

we asked them to write their emails, name, and their name in Thai words..
let the pic describes....

my name in Thai words..
i try to rewrite but i still couldnt get the same writing wif this..
credit to James, for writing my name in Thai words..

and with that,
our first mid term school session ends.

Saturday night....
i received a call...
i look at the screen of my phone..
a strange phone number called me..
at first, i juz let it rings, try to recall whose num is that..
i checked thru my notebook...
and.....................
its actually one of the Sarasit students who called me..
so i juz picked up the phone and we hv a short chit chat..
i dun quite understand what he said so i juz "yeah yeah"..hehe..

ok la...im hungry..
will update agin later...
daa....

it seems like.......

2009-03-06T20:27:00.003+08:00

Kita mulakan sesi blogging ini

dgn bacaan umul kitab

dan bagi yg non,

bacalah apa2 mengikut kepercayaan masing2.

Aminn...~

craap2...

i hv lotsa to blog about but idk where to start...

lets start with why im feeling 'great' these days.

Im feeling 'GREAT'!

i hv gone thru with my first exam in this upper form..

n guess wut,

urm...look below n u will find out.

BM-90%

SEJ-84%

Phy- 40-49% (not too sure but initial 4)

OMG! seems like im getting confused with GREAT n BAD!

i omos failed for my physics!

while others got 80% n above.

i remember once i ever said that physics is loved.

but ryte now, is it?

yeahh i noe im embarassing myself.

so, now u noe how 'Great' i am?

ok stop bout that.

now i wanna share bout P.U.M.

stands for, Program Usahawan Muda.

im joining this club.

n im under the guidance of my fav teacher,

Cikgu Nasrizal a.k.a Cikgu Chumil. hahax~

im appointed to be the Pengurus Pentadbiran.

like the secretary of the club. hahax~

anyway, thats not wut im trying to tell u.

actually, i juz feel happy be one of the members

as i can see this Cikgu Chumil's cute smile.

hahax~

urm..wut else to talk about?

ahh...about BWP a.k.a Students' Council.

most of my frenz interested in joining this BWP team..

well, yeahh...i admit that im minding of joining or not.

urm...but afta seeing that sort of exam result,

i dun think ive the qualification to be

as one of the conditions is PNG >3.5 .

newaay, i wanna interview Kak Lala bout this first

before making up my mind.

Got this one of my friends.

Nowadays she seems like desperate for position!

OMG! i burst out laughing when i listened to her story.

she has the confidence in herself which is im very proud of

but shes juz trying too hard to the core

so that ppl might see her.

what, seeking for popularity, famous, glamorious?

oh please!

she told me that she wants this n that n im trying to help

but now, shes like drifted so far away frm the right track.

im not feeling jealous.

i juz found this so funny!

fuhh...idk wut else to bluff about.

hurm...another post w/o any pics.

sorry guys....

im too busy to upload any photo.

now im going to end this blogging

as im too tired!

lack of sleep!

Kita buka, maka kita tutup.

Kita akhiri blogging ini dgn tasbih kifarah dan surah alAs.

Aminn...~

Upside Down.

2009-03-01T11:06:00.003+08:00

hey fera, hows life?
hows ur new skewl?
hows this, hows that.
im sick of it.
now juz read thru this post n u will work out that question marks.

Upside Down.
thats what my life is all about nowadays.
ive been thru life in my new skool n its so not me.
meaning to say, im living somebody else's life.
and i was forced to get thru it all.
they say, "for my future".

Upside down.
what i mean by these words?
previously, i can do as what i like, i wish.
but now, i have to do everythg that i hate.
am i make myself clear enough?
hope so cuz im not going to elaborate any longer.
im sick, im sick, im sick!

despite of being such a home desperado dude..
i noe that this is what i need for a brighter future.
i convince myself that one day these things will come to an end.
i juz hv to deal with it.
dont mess up things, fera.
its too late for a turning back.

Mum, dad n Abang are hoping on me.
and i hv to accomplish their dreams, and go beyond.
juz like our motto,
Accomplish and Go Beyond.
maybe u will think that im doing sumthg for them, not for myself.
if so, then u r totally wrong.
clearly stated, this is what i need.

all i hv to do is to perform the best of me
n make every human creatures proud of me.
i noe i can do it.

The time finally comes...

2009-02-09T17:55:00.002+08:00

Im here juz to say my last words b4 i go to MRSM for this term..

Ive a lot of fun blogging, blog-hopping, chatting, tagging n so on..

how i wish i hv time to do these, this often..

but i noe i cant hv both of the good ends ;)

I juz want to thank u for the cooperation given..

the cheers, smiles n laughness..

or even sadness..

this gonna be the end of my post, at least for this quite a time..

im leaving...

bb..

do tc..

quick shoutout:

rara: hey, cheer up girl...u wont lose him..trust
me..hee~

nina: hey dearie, im gonna miss u a lot..still hating ur
teacher huh?hehe..tc!

syiedah: its my pleasure to meet u at aao..now, do tc! keep
updated wif aliff's progresses yeahh.

syue: im gonna miss to debate wif u..do remember, BN supporter
here! hee~

daa....

Pesanan mereka....

2009-02-09T06:12:00.004+08:00

"this is another phase of ur precious life whereby u r actually taking another step ahead in any way of achieving ur ambition, our ambition for u to be a doctor. why would u feeling reluctant to then? u hv no worries, dear. we r owez here for u, supporting u frm the start thru this endlessness journey of ours!" says dad.

"girl, if u refuse to go for urself, then go for the sake of me!" cries dad, in his heart.

<
div align="center">

"there is no need for u to pay back the money we spent for u..juz reward us by ur success!"

says mum.

"adek, u r so not far away frm us..no worries then..u r goin to be enjoying life at there..disciplinary is important.." says dear Abang.

"di sana nnty jgn depend dgn org lain..." says Kak Irda.

"pesanan saya, tunaikan sembahyang, rajin baca alQuran. itu sahaja."

by Ustaz Hanif.

"bila d tmpt org, pandai2 jaga diri. yg sy prihatin sekali, mahkota kita ada satu sahaja..jaga!"

says Miss Rohanna.

"pergi jangan kembali..." says Puan Farianis.

"jangan sesekali pijak tanah SMKT nie bila kamu sudah mengambil keputusan untuk meninggalkan kami.." Cikgu Rafi, joked! hee~

"d SMKT, kamu dak buat kerja rumah, kmi belasah. di sana, kmu rilek sahaja. tiada denda2. pandai2 la kamu bawa diri untuk menjadi insan yg cemerlang. " says Cikgu Vaea.

On my very last day...sobs

2009-02-06T18:39:00.003+08:00

^^Maktab Rendah Sains Mara^^

my school to be..

the place where my real life journey will begin..

^^Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Tawau^^

Im gonna miss this skewl for eternity..

I went to skewl this morning, as per usual..

We were asked to go, so, i juz attend..

the last time at skewl..

im feeling juz like im leaving this skewl forever, for some reasons..

we went to see the Clerk, to obtain our Sijil Berhenti Sekolah..

now, as ive got that, im no longer SMKT student..

no more, forever.

"pergi tak kembali", said Puan Farianis.

oh really?thats so awkward!

i feel sad when i met Cikgu Rafi at skewl juz now..

He's acting juz like he doesnt support us at all for leaving the skewl,

leaving him, particularly..hehe..

we kept on begging for his bless..

i noe deep down inside..

he noes that this might be the best for us..

im not leaving u behind, cikgu..

we're owez here, remembering all what hv u done for us..

thanx 4 everythg..

so, juz now afta we all,

i mean, me, Citra, Andy, Andi n Farhah got the certificate..

we went to MRSM to take our Offer letter..
Me n Citra got it n the rest havent yet for some reasons..

then met wif our senior, Sis Jane.

She greeted us warmly makes me feeling so welcomed!

n yeah..she brought us take a look at the MRSM, wholly..

by knowing literally about life in MRSM..

i feel so eager to go there..

well, i noe ofcuz there will be a prob for me..

some kind of cultural shock but i will face it..

So, frm now onwards..

dun expect much updates frm me..

we're allowed to go for outing twice a month, if im not mistaken.

still wif my updates, but seldomly..

sorry for that..

lets call it a day..

daa...

do tc, n do know that ily!

Reluctant

2009-02-04T19:27:00.004+08:00

Do u noe how much i really miss u all..

im quite busy wif this hustle n bustle in my life currently..

im moving, moving on..

n that makes me very sad..

im reluctant to, in fact.

but, do i hv other choice?

this reminds me to the poem, the road not taken.

i hv to choose one..

that might bring the changes in my life, wholly.

i choose to go to MRSM..

meaning that i hv to leave my family, frenz, teachers, skewl..

dearies, i reluctant to in fact..

this is life, another phase of life, particularly..

where we hv to make sacrifices..

sorry that i can hv both..

every single day just passes by..

brings me nearer to the moment of truth..

moment of my life perhaps..

i passed thru it all wif quietness, sadness, worries n anxious..

i wish i could say..

do i hv time to say no?

deep down inside..

i noe, this where i belong..

n im neva gonna let it go, juz like that..

everytime i hv my meal wif my fam,

i think of the same thing..

do we still hv time to do this, this often?

then, i burst into tears..

i try to hide this feeling in front of them..

juz to make them feel better..

not to see them feel this way too..

easier for me to go then..

my dearie frenz..

i noe deep down they feel reluctant to let us go..

we've been thru the ups n downs in our study..

now, we hv to go in separate ways..

so not fair..i guess..

my dear mummy, daddy, abg, kakak, n dyan..
i would like to thank u all
for the support uve shown to me..
all this while u all nvr give up helping me in my study..
Mum n dad, u owez noe how to cheer me up..
how to make me smile..giggling..
Abg n kakak, u owez there whever i need ur guide in teaching me..
abg, i promise to do well in my Add maths..nyehehexz..
Dyan, stay cute yeahh..
dun forget ur kakaxz!
dearie frenz,
u noe how im gonna miss u all..
weve been thru PMR wif all laugh n tears..
n this offer wont let us drift apart..
trust me..
do keep in touch..
if only u noe how i feel bad to leave ya..

MRSM! huhu~

2009-01-31T18:57:00.003+08:00

Tahniah!!!!! Anda Berjaya

Let the pic tells u everythg..

Im kinda down todaay..

idk why..

will blog later..

Miss Eiya,

nnty akuh wat tagged tue ya..

dun worrybe happy..hehe..

Lepak-ing!

2009-01-28T18:11:00.002+08:00

ngah tggu my pizza..

lapar gylak!
enjoying ur food huh?
i wish im taller than i am now..huhu

arent we lovely?hee~

^^call this gadis pingitan! ^^

YUpp!

todaay i went for Lepak-ing wif my frenz..

We went for movie at first then to Pizza b4 going home..

Now, juz look at the pic la yeahh..

Like the wise says,

pic tells thousands of words..

c ya!

BYE!

2009-01-27T06:27:00.003+08:00

Juz a random pic..

maybe kind of comparison?*giggles*

can i ask u which one is better?

hahax..jkjkjkjk...

im blogging for what happened yest..

SMKT is now officially be my second home..

n the classes, are my second room..

wondering why?

cuz lately i spent some of my times here..

in usual skewling session..

late afternoon go to skewl for KRS or sports..

Saturday, i have Kokum..

Sunday, as per usual..Akademi Pantun la kaan..

now, during holidayss..

i hv to come to skewl also for pantun..

luckily on Wed, Thurs n Fri ill be free..

no pantun2..hahax..

but, this coming sunday n saturday..

extra hours for pantun lesson!myGod!

back to yest...

pantun lesson, chatting, n whatsoever..

i dun feel that i need to elaborate cuz this gonna be a lame post then..

well, it is now ryte?hahax..

i cant deny that he is so charming..

but not to the extent of melting my heart..hahaz..

sumhow, i dun like his attitude..

sombong nak mampus..

late afternoon,

went to Semporna to visit my aunty..

urm..my bro said that yest was Sun Eclipse..

he saw it but i didnt..

cuz in my place was raining..

it should be seen ard Tawau-LD actually..

but nehmind..

my bro has snapped the pic n later i can post it here..

later at night,

i watched Titanic the movie..

i lost count on how many times ive seen this movie..

and idk how many litres of my tears were bursting out while watching it..

its that great!

well, literally i noe what love is..

Love exists in our heart..

2 loving ppl doesnt mean hv to be together..

cuz Love is not only between a relationship..

well okaay..

lame post!

thanx for reading newaay..

tc!

P/S: does everyone here noes the real meaning of Make Love?ROFL!

Randomness, AGAIN!

2009-01-25T14:28:00.003+08:00

Fera n Andy, the XLs of the class..muahaha!

no kidding!
nie namanya mengambur kelas..lol..

I juz got back frm skewl..
AGAIN...i hv pantun lesson..
meanwhile, my classmate hv an agenda to decorate the class..
n then afta the lesson done, i went to the class..
went for hang out actually..haha..
so ard 1pm like tat..
i got off home..
i heard they all now going to Starbucks Tawau..
too bad that they informed me kinda late so im not joining them..
but nehmind..i need rest..
still not feeling so well...
suara sengau seyh akibat selsema..lol...
so im now hang out wif my laptop..hehe
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lulu Belle stuff!

im now addicted to Lulu Belle stuff..
i like the themes..
gabungan antara pink, hitam dan putih mmg menarik hati..
the pic up there shows my Lulu Belle collection..
will add some more soon..
i mean..if my wallet full of $$..*jing jing*

actually last nyte i went to KFC wif my Aunty..
kononnye spent fera for my pmr result la kaan..haha..
thanx newaay aunty..
then i took a look ard n i couldnt resist to stand frm not buying the bag..
^^see the pic....hee~

afta i bought the bag..
i went for snapping pic wif my kazen, Isa..
the pic quite blurr..
sorry...i adore this pic..
cuz that kid looks so cute..
maybe its not clear for u all..
my apology..

n to Aunty Rohanna n family..
God bless u..
thanx fr the dinner..
i appreciated it to the max..
n not forget, thanx for the bag..
ily!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

the guy besides me is my beloved kazen..
now he's in kL afta taking leave frm the PLKN management..
he sent me msg juz now..

Alif: Pa kabar org tawau?
hello..ko org mana?haha..
Fera: uisehh..org KL sms aku bayyan..ok ja wa..
Alif: mana akuh leh lupa ma ko bah sygs!
Fera: aah la tue...uit, ole2 ya..
Alif: nie yg aku malas sms ko nie..
Fera: nasib la..haha..
Alif: kalo ko sia layyan bah...

Thanx dear bro..
ily, tc!

Im not getting any offer..sobs

2009-01-24T06:53:00.004+08:00

Harap maaf, anda tidak mendapat sebarang tawaran.
Sila klik e-Rayuan untuk membuat rayuan.

e-Rayuan that ive submitted..

Im juz checking the Portal Kementerian Pelajaran..

So sad that i got no offer to the SM Sains LD..

there are too many straight A's students i guess..*wink*

ive submit my e-Rayuan newaay..

well, juz wait n see lar kaan..

theres no one frm my class got the offer..

so ryte now im juz depending on my MRSM application..

n if i dun get it too..

that means i juz continue my study in beloved SMKT..

well, not bad actually..

but im craving for an offer ya know..huhu..

ill update some more later..

now hv to rush for tuition class..

adioss!

She is TAKEN!

2009-01-23T22:56:00.004+08:00

See this gurl besides me..

I cant believe that..

She is juz taken tonite by my adek angkat..

nyehehehexz...

im calling this relationship as..

Cinta Tawau-Kedah!

ROFL!

so i wanna convey my congrats towards her..

dearie ucik,
finally jumpa juak ko ma org yg ko syg..
tinggal aku jak laie nie terkapai2..
anywaay im so happy for u..
congrats n i hope..
ur love will be everlasting forever n ever..
jaga adek akuh elok2..
nyehehehexz..

ok la..

thats all for this time..

i hv to get my rest..

im not feeling so well..

adiosss!

On my tiring days..

2009-01-23T13:52:00.003+08:00

........myweirdface~

I cant believe that im blogging ryte now!

yeahh...my days seemed so busy..

none other than, busy wif h/w!

Lets call this entire week as...

the tiring dayss!

Tuesday, 20th Jan.09

I hv double trouble of PA that day..

1st, official PA session in the morning..

n late afternoon, i got sports practice!

can u juz imagine how tired ive been?

i was appointed to be Pelatih Simpanan Lontar Peluru..

i felt awkward! serious!

so, thats all for that day..

others r not so important i guess..

Wednesday, 21st Jan o9

The day which i was really tight up wif h/w!

chem, bi, add maths, mod maths..

i managed to do all of my h/w anywaay..

thats afta ive burnt the midnite oil!

got tuition in the evening..

n thank God theres no KRS thingy been held!

Thursday, 22nd Jan o9

the worst day ever!

ive commited so many mistakes!

starts frm panicked at the chem lab..

wrote the attendance wrongly..

didnt pay any attention to the teacher..

i think thats all n thats enough!

i dun wish to elaborate though..

Friday, 23rd Jan 09

which is todaay..

nothg went wrong at the skewl..

its juz that i really fell asleep during phy period..

yeahh..ive lacked of sleep these days..

but ryte now im so happy..

at last, im feeling so free this holiday!

Thank God!

ok la..

lets call it a day..

bye...

Random

2009-01-19T18:43:00.003+08:00

holla wazzup2 guys!

hows life todaay?

im gonna start my blog wif what i did this morning..

todaay we had an assembly..

as per usual..evry mondaay..

todaay i was appointed to naikkan bendera during the national anthem..

cuz this is the 3rd week n the assembly was handled by the students..

n yeahh..todaay i wore the KRS uniform..

panas, boley?huhu

so i guess everythg went fine..

apart from too long of standing..huhu

then afta the assembly ended..

im rushing went to the koperasi n get my add maths workbook..

today we supposed to submit our workbook homework..

n i juz bought it.. ;)!

so i think u noe..

i was forced to copy the work frm my frenz..

i didnt mean it but i was forced to okaay..

dun hv enough time!

okaay2..next time i wont repeat the same mistake kaay..

during BM, i be a volunteer for the drama acting..lol..

not bad la i guess..chewaah..hehe

then..PAI period..

another ROFL session..muahaha..

then the add maths n followed by modern maths period..

everythg went so finee..

i was stuck up wif my duty b4 i can go back home..

hv to do this n that..sincerely, pls?hehe

okaay then 2.30pm i got off to skewl once again..

for KRS thingy..

akuh penat berkawad boley?huhu

anywaay thats sumthg enjoyable for me..

so i dun really mind it..

afta the practice ended..

i went to the bus stop, waiting for my mum..

while waiting, hang out wif my frens..

n i admitted that i had a great time wif my fren, Leonel..

myGod, i miss that when we r in primary skewl..!

Leonel, i heart u as my fren..hee~!

ROFL!

Too much of commitment?

2009-01-18T14:50:00.002+08:00

Mentari beradu terserlah indahnya,

Berlabuh sinar antara banjaran;

Puteri bongsu namanya Fera,

Bergelar doktor itu impian.

Hello guys..

wazzup2?

ok, its juz a lame pantun i made..hehe

sorry for not updatin once again yest..

i felt lazy to..hehe...

ok so i juz got home frm skewl..

went to skewl on sunday?

yup...today i got a pantun lesson..

yayaya..akuh suka sastera..hehe..

so this morning woke up at 6..

say my prayer n straight away on9 till 8.30am..

i was like, ahmygod!

the lesson starts at 9!

so i was terribly hurry got ready n stuff la..

when i arrived at skewl, sharp at 9 okaay..

but the teacher hasnt yet come..*phew*

afta waiting for half an hour..

the lesson started..

we were asked to make a pantun bout ourselves..

so i made a bluffing pantun n the teacher said, good!

bangga ke pe..haha..

the lesson ended at ard 12.30..

went home..lunch n watched deja vu the movie..

the movie looks great..

i dun quite understand the story though..hehe

n now im blogging..

sigh...im quite active at skewl..

i mean..apart frm studying all the time..

i join few activities at skewl..

i involved in most of KRS, Kadet Remaja Sekolah activities..

signing up to be a PRS, Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya..

joining the Akademi Pantun..

what else eh?

urm..got the assistant monitor position..

appointed as the wakil rumah sukan for form 4..

i was thinking how to cope up well wif these all..

anywaay, i will give out my best..

for my own good..

till now im actually still blur of making choice..

i wonder if i shld choose to live in MRSM or not..

yeah..i didnt get the offer yet...

but IF, then how?

i feel so comfortable wif what i hv now..

i mean...in my own home..altogether wif my parents..

feeling reluctant to be apart..

anywaay, juz wait n see la kaan..hee~

ok la..thats all in my thoughts..

lets call it a daay..

bye!

do tc!

JUZ FCUK OFF!

2009-01-17T23:04:00.002+08:00

I loved u once!

Im pretty sure ive got off u frm my mind since the day u hurt me!

N i dun care whatsoever bloody things u wanna do!

But why the hell i got mad when i noe ur love is juz 4 her????